I've always wondered how a male victim of domestic violence would be treated by the police. We've come to realize that women have not been historically treated well, but it is now clear than great progress has been made. If a man who is a victim of violence manages to step on his male ego to complain to the police, will he be taken seriously?
Now, here is something that shocked me when I learned it, and feel free to fact check me: the scientific consensus is that the prevalence of female on male vs. male on female domestic violence is roughly the same. What is subject to debate is whether the severity is the same, and whether women act more frequently in self-defense than men. It should be noted that in the specific case of spousal homicide, it is overwhelmingly males who are the perpetrators.
It would appear that the topic of intimate violence against men is a topic that truly no one talks about, except in rare academic circles.
May I ask where you found out about this? I think it definitely should be talked about, but in the academic circles I've been in, I've heard otherwise. I think it also on the type of domestic abuse.. If psychological violence counts is included in domestic violence, I wouldn't be surprised if that is the truth, but for physical and sexual violence I'm not so sure if that's the case...
Also when you are talking about ''women acting in self defense'', it makes me wonder how the research you're talking about was conducted. In a lot of cases of domestic abuse, the victim ends up snapping and maybe at some point hitting back or retaliating.. There are no ''perfect victims''. I don't think a woman who eventually hits her husband back who is constantly beating her up is the abuser here. There's also a very commonly known phenomenon called DARVO, where an abuser will victimize themselves and turn everyone against the victim and eventually convince them that he is the perpetrator. This is actually very common. Some people are really manipulative and it's actually hard to know who to believe. Most abusers I've met convinced everyone they were the actual victims.. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt until I figured out that actually yes they were the aggressor.
Also, the police has recently gotten better at handling cases of domestic violence recently but historically that hasn't always been the case. Restraining orders often do nothing, and historically often the police hasn't taken violence seriously at all and victims aren't believed or are blamed. (specially if they defended themselves or acted in a way that wasn't like the pure perfect innocent victim).. I definitely think all types of violence should be talked about, and men should feel safer to come forward if they've experienced violence. It's hard to know what the statistics really are because very few people actually report to the police. I think for me it's hard to believe that the prevalence is roughly the same, not because I'm a dirty feminist who hates men (I am not and I'm annoyed I have to spell it out constantly), but because of personal experience and things I've witnessed in my personal life on multiple occasion. I have however witnessed domestic abuse against men, from both women and men, and it does exist.
I'm not really sure that I want to talk about this subject openly on this forum because I have many haters here and people who think I complain for nothing or write too long paragraphs but I'd be down to discuss this elsewhere. I also by the way would never invalidate a man who has been the victim of abuse, he deserves just as much support as a woman.
