Need Some Diplomatic Wisdom from the Forum Experts

[Obvio-0bvio]

Alright, I need everyone's advice since clearly, this forum is filled with undercover diplomats and emotional PhDs.

So here’s the deal: I recently met this woman. Not a service provider, just a drop dead gorgeous girl. She’s kind, funny, has a natural body to die for, and she actually wants a relationship with me.

Now here’s where I spiral: I don’t think I want a relationship. Not because I’m out here living the dream, but because every time I’ve been in one, I end up disappointed, hurt, and wondering why I didn’t just stay home and water my plants.

I’ve been enjoying my solitude, working on myself (well, trying), and let’s be honest I also want the freedom to occasionally go on a stress free, emotionally detached rampage with service providers. No strings, no heartbreak, no bedtime story nonsense.But here’s the catch: if I say yes to this goddess , that part of my life is over. I don’t cheat, that’s non-negotiable. Which means if I commit, I’m all in.

So now I’m stuck between: Starting something real with someone amazing and risking emotional devastation because let’s face it, I get attached way too fast and heartbreak hits like a brick of Keeping my freedom, avoiding commitment, and living in a world of no expectations or possibly missing out on the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

To make things worse, my trust in women isn't exactly thriving. One day you're their world, the next day they flip the switch and you're the villain..So instead of paying a therapist to give me advice , I figured I’d come here to the most “diplomatic” forum around, where everyone clearly has a master’s degree in emotional problem solving. So here my dilemma am I protecting my peace, or just sabotaging myself?

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

An escort review board might not be the best idea to seek advice.

However, on the other hand, if the lady seem interesting, you don't have to commit right away.

Proceed with caution, take it slow. Easier said than done but none the less, it is the path to go.

Yeah, i know it is easy to get attached.

She may be the key to happiness, there is no way to know for sure.

Life is a gamble

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

An escort review board might not be the best idea to seek advice.

However, on the other hand, if the lady seem interesting, you don't have to commit right away.

Proceed with caution, take it slow. Easier said than done but none the less, it is the path to go.

Yeah, i know it is easy to get attached.

She may be the key to happiness, there is no way to know for sure.

Life is a gamble

Well said, buddy and thanks for the advice. That’s the thing: one day they love you, and the next, it feels like they’ve turned against you. I’m not looking to ride that emotional rollercoaster again.She really does seem different from anyone I’ve met before. But the question is: am I actually ready for another relationship? I know I’m not perfect; I’ve got my flaws like anyone else. So is this a smart move… or a setup for a disaster?

 

[neverbored]

but because every time I’ve been in one, I end up disappointed, hurt, and wondering why I didn’t just stay home and water my plants.

Cause that's how it is until you do.

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." - Alfred Einstein.

And if she is that... you would be a fool not to give it a shot.

 

[Flyingby]

Life is all about human connections
Go on a few dates. Don’t be a Ted Mosby
Keep it casual until you feel you want to commit.
Women like guys that are not clingy. Need to get her to come to you

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

Women like guys that are not clingy. Need to get her to come to you

Exactly, what he said

 

[urquell]

Go risk the emotional devastation. Nothing you get with an SP is ever going to equal what you might find in the right relationship with the right woman. If avoiding heartbreak is your only reason for not embarking on it then that's not a good enough reason and you should go for it, damn the torpedoes, and if your heart gets broken later then it does. You'll get over it. Nothing worth having happens without some risk, and if you never try you'll never win. If you simply don't want a relationship and you're trying to convince yourself that you do then forget about it. You're not ready, go away and grow a little then come back when you are ready to pursue one, and if that's never then it's never, but I've never met anyone who couldn't have a good relationship with the right partner barring some serious emotional damage, in which case counselling is the way to go. The challenge is usually just finding the right person.

Not sure how diplomatic that is, but that's my two cents.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Cause that's how it is until you do.

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." - Alfred Einstein.

And if she is that... you would be a fool not to give it a shot.

They all seem perfect in the beginning, but after a few months, it’s a completely different story. Thanks for your advice.

 

[LeDodo]

In what you just mentioned the below might be your cue:

let’s be honest I also want the freedom to occasionally go on a stress free, emotionally detached rampage with service providers. No strings, no heartbreak, no bedtime story nonsense.

Maybe ask yourself if not already the following questions:
- Does having strings attached make you regret that?
- Do you enjoy intimacy with one person only?

You may get answers by just trying this relationship and take your own decisions.
Bear in mind that if you don't let that happen you will still live your life as currently.
If you do take the jump you might have answers to what you are looking for.

Sometimes it's by experiencing things in life that you know what you really want (or don't).

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Life is all about human connections
Go on a few dates. Don’t be a Ted Mosby
Keep it casual until you feel you want to commit.
Women like guys that are not clingy. Need to get her to come to you

Maybe that works for you, but not for me. There are tons of women out there, and thanks to the magic of social media and apps like Bumble and Tinder, it’s easier than ever. And if I ever feel clingy? I just call a service provider, problem solved. That’s how simple it is, Dr. Doogie Howser.

 

[Ariel18]

I don’t know you and I don’t have the precise answer you seem to be seeking but maybe you also have to ask yourself about the reason you are getting attached that fast? And to me, wondering what could’ve been is way worst than dealing with the potential heartbreak. From another point of view, you might see this as an opportunity to meet someone new and learn about yourself in the process! ✌

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

In what you just mentioned the below might be your cue:

Maybe ask yourself if not already the following questions:
- Does having strings attached make you regret that?
- Do you enjoy intimacy with one person only?

You may get answers by just trying this relationship and take your own decisions.
Bear in mind that if you don't let that happen you will still live your life as currently.
If you do take the jump you might have answers to what you are looking for.

Sometimes it's by experiencing things in life that you know what you really want (or don't).

I almost always end up regretting being in a relationship afterwards. Sure, in the beginning, it’s all butterflies and rainbows but eventually, things just get awkward. Maybe I’m the problem, and that’s why I’m not be ready . I probably need more time to focus on myself and grow into the best version of who I want to be. Thanks for your advice.

 

[Fradi]

There is nothing better in life than the love of a woman freely given.
If you don’t try you will never know what could have been.

Escorts will always be there for you to go back to, maybe not the same ones you left behind but this profession has been around for quite a while lol.
As they say in hockey the shots you never took may have made you a star.

 

[Flyingby]

Maybe that works for you, but not for me. There are tons of women out there, and thanks to the magic of social media and apps like Bumble and Tinder, it’s easier than ever. And if I ever feel clingy? I just call a service provider, problem solved. That’s how simple it is, Dr. Doogie Howser.

Not sure what you read or how you read it. But you should tone down your defensiveness
From your own original post: “let’s face it, I get attached way too fast and heartbreak hits like a brick ”
I simply told you not be a Ted Mosby and to go on a few dates with this woman and see if you want to commit.

. Maybe I’m the problem, and that’s why I’m not be ready

it is usually the case

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

There is nothing better in life than the love of a woman freely given.
If you don’t try you will never know what could have been.

Escorts will always be there for you to go back to, maybe not the same ones you left behind but this profession has been around for quite a while lol.
As they say in hockey the shots you never took may have made you a star.

Well said my friend, thanks for the advice.

 

[Steely Dan]

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".....Or not...

 

[kstanb]

dump her

 

[Z3rgling]

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I'm not an expert by any means lol but I saw this and it made me smile. Honestly I might be shooting myself in the foot here but I don't think seeing providers is the same as having an actual romantic partner. I think it's really understandable to be afraid of getting your heart broken, everyone has been burned.. At the same time, I feel like that's what romance is all about, taking risks. I don't regret dating people who broke my heart, even the people who I ended up not feeling well treated by.. I'm still glad I gave them a chance, nobody is perfect.

The real question is.. do you really want to be in a romantic relationship, or are you considering it because you think you SHOULD be in one now that you have that opportunity? Romantic relationships aren't everything.. Friendships are really important, too. If you're not ready for it and you want to keep your freedom, you shouldn't be feeling a societal pressure to settle because this person is your dream girl. You can also take things slow. One big mistake people seem to make is jumping in relationships too fast, I've done it many times before. It takes a while to get to know someone..

 

[MCTJ]

I will also add that the transition from "hardcore hobbyist" to romantic relationship is not an easy one. A period of "sexual sobriety" (i.e no sex) of 3 months to reset your brain (dopamine homeostasis) would be well advised.