Need Some Diplomatic Wisdom from the Forum Experts

[Salbandini]

Alright, I need everyone's advice since clearly, this forum is filled with undercover diplomats and emotional PhDs.

So here’s the deal: I recently met this woman. Not a service provider, just a drop dead gorgeous girl. She’s kind, funny, has a natural body to die for, and she actually wants a relationship with me.

Now here’s where I spiral: I don’t think I want a relationship. Not because I’m out here living the dream, but because every time I’ve been in one, I end up disappointed, hurt, and wondering why I didn’t just stay home and water my plants.

I’ve been enjoying my solitude, working on myself (well, trying), and let’s be honest I also want the freedom to occasionally go on a stress free, emotionally detached rampage with service providers. No strings, no heartbreak, no bedtime story nonsense.But here’s the catch: if I say yes to this goddess , that part of my life is over. I don’t cheat, that’s non-negotiable. Which means if I commit, I’m all in.

So now I’m stuck between: Starting something real with someone amazing and risking emotional devastation because let’s face it, I get attached way too fast and heartbreak hits like a brick of Keeping my freedom, avoiding commitment, and living in a world of no expectations or possibly missing out on the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

To make things worse, my trust in women isn't exactly thriving. One day you're their world, the next day they flip the switch and you're the villain..So instead of paying a therapist to give me advice , I figured I’d come here to the most “diplomatic” forum around, where everyone clearly has a master’s degree in emotional problem solving. So here my dilemma am I protecting my peace, or just sabotaging myself?

Simply dude, go for it. Thats what dating is all
About. You dont know if you dont try. Dont want to turn this into a “what if”. Worst case scenario it doesnt pan out.

Also side note this might not be the best place to ask for relationship advice lol

 

[Mailloche]

Alright, I need everyone's advice since clearly, this forum is filled with undercover diplomats and emotional PhDs.

So here’s the deal: I recently met this woman. Not a service provider, just a drop dead gorgeous girl. She’s kind, funny, has a natural body to die for, and she actually wants a relationship with me.

Now here’s where I spiral: I don’t think I want a relationship. Not because I’m out here living the dream, but because every time I’ve been in one, I end up disappointed, hurt, and wondering why I didn’t just stay home and water my plants.

I’ve been enjoying my solitude, working on myself (well, trying), and let’s be honest I also want the freedom to occasionally go on a stress free, emotionally detached rampage with service providers. No strings, no heartbreak, no bedtime story nonsense.But here’s the catch: if I say yes to this goddess , that part of my life is over. I don’t cheat, that’s non-negotiable. Which means if I commit, I’m all in.

So now I’m stuck between: Starting something real with someone amazing and risking emotional devastation because let’s face it, I get attached way too fast and heartbreak hits like a brick of Keeping my freedom, avoiding commitment, and living in a world of no expectations or possibly missing out on the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

To make things worse, my trust in women isn't exactly thriving. One day you're their world, the next day they flip the switch and you're the villain..So instead of paying a therapist to give me advice , I figured I’d come here to the most “diplomatic” forum around, where everyone clearly has a master’s degree in emotional problem solving. So here my dilemma am I protecting my peace, or just sabotaging myself?

The cost of having a gf or wife is equal, lower or more expensive to the cost of enjoying that hobby, depends on your budget. Having a gf you will lost all your freedom and fucking the same woman everyday for the first 3 months to a year then once a week then once in a blue moon. I choose this hobby because when i want to fuck i just get up and do it no question ask no talking and no aftermath problems following that "relationship". I have friendly relationship with many women in my private life if i want to discuss about everydays life as for sex i have within 5 min with new woman anythime i want and the way i want. I want rough sex i got it cover, i want gfe style sex i got it cover i want ligerie sex i got it cover i want different nationality i got it cover the list goes on something that a gf cannot.provide you. Gf or wife relationship take time and energy it's up to you if you want to work on that.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I'm not an expert by any means lol but I saw this and it made me smile. Honestly I might be shooting myself in the foot here but I don't think seeing providers is the same as having an actual romantic partner. I think it's really understandable to be afraid of getting your heart broken, everyone has been burned.. At the same time, I feel like that's what romance is all about, taking risks. I don't regret dating people who broke my heart, even the people who I ended up not feeling well treated by.. I'm still glad I gave them a chance, nobody is perfect.

The real question is.. do you really want to be in a romantic relationship, or are you considering it because you think you SHOULD be in one now that you have that opportunity? Romantic relationships aren't everything.. Friendships are really important, too. If you're not ready for it and you want to keep your freedom, you shouldn't be feeling a societal pressure to settle because this person is your dream girl. You can also take things slow. One big mistake people seem to make is jumping in relationships too fast, I've done it many times before. It takes a while to get to know someone..

Very well expressed, my friend . It’s not that I want to see service providers more often or live some kind of "free" lifestyle, or that I’ve chosen not to be in a relationship. The truth is, maybe I’m the problem. I know I still have work to do on myself, to grow, to heal, and to become the best version of who I can be. Jumping into another relationship without fully healing from past experiences would only carry that pain forward, and that would affect any present or future connection I try to build.

Healing completely reaching that higher level emotionally and mentally is what creates a relationship that flows naturally and feels right. I’m not sure if you’ve heard this quote before, but it really sums it up for me: “If you don’t heal from your past, you’ll bleed on those who didn’t cut you.” That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.

Why should I make this special girl regret falling for me, only to end up hurt or disappointed? That wouldn’t just hurt her, it would also reflect badly on me. But if I take my time, I believe she’ll still be around if it was meant to be, and she’ll respect me more for being honest about where I’m at instead of leading her into something I’m not ready for.

They say, “the more you make her wait, the more she wants you,” and maybe there’s some truth in that but for me, this isn’t about playing games. It’s about timing, growth, and being ready. At the end of the day, life and love can feel like a competition... but what matters most is earning your spot at the top of the podium.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

What if I told you that you can be in a committed relationship and still have sex with other people?
All the cool kids are doing it these days. It might be something to consider.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

What if I told you that you can be in a committed relationship and still have sex with other people?
All the cool kids are doing it these days. It might be something to consider.

Wow, what a revolutionary concept! Next you'll tell me I can be on a diet and eat cake for every meal. Truly, we are living in the golden age of commitment.

 

[masterfreak]

Le meilleur conseil que je peux te donner est simple mais compliqué en même temps
Vivre le moment présent
Pourquoi penser aux blessures potentiels
Pourquoi attendre la meilleur version de toi-même
On évolue beaucoup plus dans une relation d'amour stable

 

[Rebaynia]

Alright, I need everyone's advice since clearly, this forum is filled with undercover diplomats and emotional PhDs.

So here’s the deal: I recently met this woman. Not a service provider, just a drop dead gorgeous girl. She’s kind, funny, has a natural body to die for, and she actually wants a relationship with me.

So far sounds pretty awsome.

Now here’s where I spiral: I don’t think I want a relationship. Not because I’m out here living the dream, but because every time I’ve been in one, I end up disappointed, hurt, and wondering why I didn’t just stay home and water my plants.

We take a chance on love, because love feels so good when it is present. The question is, does it feel good enough to risk the pain if it doesn't work out.

If the answer is no, then you aren't ready yet. It wouldn't hurt so much of we didn't give so much into it. Yes, it might not work out. That's what taking it slow is for, give yourself time see if this is someone you can trust your heart to.

I’ve been enjoying my solitude, working on myself (well, trying), and let’s be honest I also want the freedom to occasionally go on a stress free, emotionally detached rampage with service providers. No strings, no heartbreak, no bedtime story nonsense.

It is a life that works for some, and for others it works during the healing between relationships. You get to decide what you want your life to be.

But here’s the catch: if I say yes to this goddess , that part of my life is over. I don’t cheat, that’s non-negotiable. Which means if I commit, I’m all in.

Good for you, and her. If you are focused on making the relationship work, instead of on other people, you have a better chance of things working out for you both. What if she's bi, and likes playing with women too? You could play together.

So now I’m stuck between: Starting something real with someone amazing and risking emotional devastation

She might be making that very same conflict about a new relationship.

because let’s face it, I get attached way too fast and heartbreak hits like a brick of Keeping my freedom, avoiding commitment, and living in a world of no expectations or possibly missing out on the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Sounds to me like you want from a relationship, what you are missing from how things are presently. This person sounds to have the green lights you search for in a relationship.

To make things worse, my trust in women isn't exactly thriving. One day you're their world, the next day they flip the switch and you're the villain..So instead of paying a therapist to give me advice , I figured I’d come here to the most “diplomatic” forum around, where everyone clearly has a master’s degree in emotional problem solving. So here my dilemma am I protecting my peace, or just sabotaging myself?

I'm a hopeless romantic.
I am always hopeing for people to work out. Just take your time to see if you are compatible before committing to it.

But I was one too, who only believed it was a monogamous relationship, after the official relationship talk. As long as it was dating without commitment, it wasn't cheating, but I also let them know as well.

It has made my current relationship, quite the mind f*ck. Similarly to you, I recognized the relationship as monogamy.

 

[Alucard87]

Does she do anal?

 

[Tor1393]

You see should do it
If for no other reason
Sex without condoms is just better

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Does she do anal?

You see should do it
If for no other reason
Sex without condoms is just better

You guys are hilarious, if I listen to both of your advices, Im better off jumping off my roof.

 

[Alucard87]

You guys are hilarious, if I listen to both of your advices, Im better off jumping off my roof.

No brother, don't do that. Do you want to grow old with someone or not care to be alone in your old age (if we all could only make it there)? Do you like having a partner? You know, the good things about having a loving gf? Also no condoms cannot be underrated. If that sounds appealing to you then go for it, you won't know how things turn out in advance. Biggest thing, don't sabotage yourself with negative thoughts.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

No brother, don't do that. Do you want to grow old with someone or not care to be alone in your old age (if we all could only make it there)? Do you like having a partner? You know, the good things about having a loving gf? Also no condoms cannot be underrated. If that sounds appealing to you then go for it, you won't know how things turn out in advance. Biggest thing, don't sabotage yourself with negative thoughts.

Seriously, buddy if you think the best part of being in a relationship is just having sex without a condom, then either you've never been in a meaningful relationship, or you're completely delusional. Sex alone doesn’t define a relationship. When love, connection, and chemistry are reciprocated , the experience goes far beyond anything physical.

With all due respect, that might be one of the worst pieces of advice I’ve ever come across, but I keep that in mind when I don’t have sex for a year . Good night, my friend , I’ve seen enough for today.

 

[LeDodo]

Does she do anal?

IYKYK

 

[Flyingby]

You can’t do it man. You cannot commit to a girl and leave the community without your reviews.
Especially since you’re back…back again.
Think about your fans. All these people who are dependent on your reviews. If you leave I fear some might be lost.
Think about Stan. Your biggest fan. And what would happen to him.

So my advice is. Don’t go for it. Think about merb first and what you are trying to accomplish in this community before ever thinking about a real relationship

Aww wait. You didn’t just say what I think you said, did you?
Is this another: Help. I’ve fallen for my sp story???

 

[Lunaseraphim]

You see should do it
If for no other reason
Sex without condoms is just better

This is also true.. people in relationships can and often have sex without condoms, which isn't the norm with SP! Recently someone said here that "BBFs are common in the industry because people can't do it with their wives or girlfriends". I wonder how children are born..

 

[Tor1393]

This is also true.. people in relationships can and often have sex without condoms, which isn't the norm with SP! Recently someone said here that "BBFs are common in the industry because people can't do it with their wives or girlfriends". I wonder how children are born..

did someone really say BBFS is common in the industry?? if so, I am unsure who he is viisiting. LOL.
I think covered FS is the norm. I am sure escorts have certain poeple in their lives that they go raw with
but the average customer is not one of them.
correct me if I am wrong

 

[Lunaseraphim]

did someone really say BBFS is common in the industry?? if so, I am unsure who he is viisiting. LOL.
I think covered FS is the norm. I am sure escorts have certain poeple in their lives that they go raw with
but the average customer is not one of them.
correct me if I am wrong

I don't want to bring this up again because it's not worth it. But I think you're right.

In any case having raw sex isn't really a good reason to be in a monogamous relationship but it's certainly a perk..