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Continuos SP Cancellations and Your Time

OutlawMonkey

New Member
May 12, 2024
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Thank you, Giselle. You have just solved the riddle and puzzle for me.

I was paying her old rates, or "grandfathered rates". I now see the light, she was doing this to get rid of me because she was not making top dollar.

Frankly, she could have just said the rate is now this much, but she told me that I had grandfathered rates because I had seen her before 2022.

A big kiss and hug for you, Giselle!

That's some secret decoder ring stuff right there.

Do you think you were getting bumped in favor of clients that were booking at the new rate or was it really some elaborate plan to burn you out as a client?
 

DouMan

R E S P E C T
Jul 5, 2008
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That's some secret decoder ring stuff right there.

Do you think you were getting bumped in favor of clients that were booking at the new rate or was it really some elaborate plan to burn you out as a client?
Holy sh*t guys, come on. No matter what the reason is the base line is it's her fkn choice, be it personnel, financial or whatever.
Just suck it up and move on to another provider, end of story
 

Mandouke

Well-Known Member
Apr 5, 2022
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That's some secret decoder ring stuff right there.

Do you think you were getting bumped in favor of clients that were booking at the new rate or was it really some elaborate plan to burn you out as a client?
That is a good question, and I guess I will never know the answer to it.
 
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Mandouke

Well-Known Member
Apr 5, 2022
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Holy sh*t guys, come on. No matter what the reason is the base line is it's her fkn choice, be it personnel, financial or whatever.
Just suck it up and move on to another provider, end of story

With all due respect, Douman, my time is just as important as the SP.

If she does not want to see me for any reason, you are right the choice is hers, but she should have the decency to tell me flat out, and not play around with my time, I am a grown man and will move on.

Having said that the choice was mine, I am reminded of this by this expression; "If someone treats you like an option, leave them like a choice". Thanks to a friend for sharing that one.
 

What's My Name

Who Are You?
Mar 16, 2014
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Montreal
Do you think you were getting bumped in favor of clients that were booking at the new rate?
Yes, I've been that guy a few times who was priortized. I would find ouit at theend of the meeting and many times the SP say the client was a real jerk.
 

What's My Name

Who Are You?
Mar 16, 2014
1,144
684
113
Montreal
I have no problem against OP and anyone participating in this conversation (I'm particularly grateful for my colleagues Julia & Giselle & Michelle here and their comments), but this type of thread is one of the reasons why I try to avoid participating in this forum now... I notice this trend that consists in someone complaining about a situation that feels outrageous to some but there is missing information and something important that everyone is avoiding. :)
Luna, this the post that has ended this whole thread because you've single handedly answered this question.. All that was said is true. I never obsess over an SP because Montrteal has a shit ton of choices, so oobsessing on 1 is stupid. What does it ttake to get the point? She's cancelled you 3 or more times and still you keep trying, seriously WAKE UP.
 

Halloween Mike

The Shape
Apr 19, 2009
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To be fair it seem to come from her to offer grandfathered rates. Now should he had propose to pay her current rate after 2 cancellations? Maybe... I can't say. On one hand i can totally understand she prefer making more money with new clients that pay new rates, but then why offer grandfathered rates to begin with? She didn't had to.

And one other point i want to touch upon mention by @Lunaseraphim , i can't speak for everyone but for me honesty is key. I would rather have an indy SP (or a booker) tell me the truth on why a meeting is cancel rather than some excuses that sometimes are so creatives that im thinking i should go by a 6/49 (well in that case its the opposite, im very unlucky, but you get that analogy i hope). And if for any reason i did something that may make someone uncomfortable, just tell me, i will avoid redoing it. If i don't know, how can i avoid doing it?
 

Mandouke

Well-Known Member
Apr 5, 2022
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To be fair it seem to come from her to offer grandfathered rates. Now should he had propose to pay her current rate after 2 cancellations? Maybe... I can't say. On one hand i can totally understand she prefer making more money with new clients that pay new rates, but then why offer grandfathered rates to begin with? She didn't had to.

And one other point i want to touch upon mention by @Lunaseraphim , i can't speak for everyone but for me honesty is key. I would rather have an indy SP (or a booker) tell me the truth on why a meeting is cancel rather than some excuses that sometimes are so creatives that im thinking i should go by a 6/49 (well in that case its the opposite, im very unlucky, but you get that analogy i hope). And if for any reason i did something that may make someone uncomfortable, just tell me, i will avoid redoing it. If i don't know, how can i avoid doing it?
Thanks for the input.

I have confirmed by PM that this SP has done this to several members here, not just me. I am not alone.

I never did anything to this woman to warrant this type of behaviour, and it leads me to believe that she has emotional issues.

I can understand that, seeing she has been in the business for a few decades. While at first I was upset by this behaviour, I now realize that it is her and not me.

I wish her the best and hope that she can resolve her problems.
 

Halloween Mike

The Shape
Apr 19, 2009
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To answer your question, I think there are many reasons why someone would choose to ghost or cancel rather than tell the client what he did wrong. I think honesty is the best policy, but it's not always easy to confront someone. We don't know how the person will react. We risk losing him if we want to keep him as a client,
Well... Loosing him as client? . If what he did bothered you and you give him a chance to correct his behaviors and he choose not to than good riddance ?

Im just telling you how i see it. Even if im not the bigger client volume wise i did saw some super lame excuses in my years and they always give us a very sour taste. No matter what.

Stuff like "your car broke down on the highway and you had to wait for the toewing" ... In summer...Like sure there is a very ....very little chance it could be true...but cmon... Im not believing this. Thats a legit excuse i got in the past btw...
 
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Giselle Montreal

Supporting Member
Sep 28, 2014
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Well... Loosing him as client? . If what he did bothered you and you give him a chance to correct his behaviors and he choose not to than good riddance ?
If we lose him, fine, it's one thing. But our clients know where to find us and we never know who can become a stalker or have a violent reaction. Sometimes the fear of possible consequences is enough to keep us from taking any chances. But, I am not saying it's always the case, mostly answering to your comment in general "i can't speak for everyone but for me honesty is key. I would rather have an indy SP (or a booker) tell me the truth on why a meeting is cancel"
 

Halloween Mike

The Shape
Apr 19, 2009
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Haddonfield
If we lose him, fine, it's one thing. But our clients know where to find us and we never know who can become a stalker or have a violent reaction. Sometimes the fear of possible consequences is enough to keep us from taking any chances. But, I am not saying it's always the case, mostly answering to your comment in general "i can't speak for everyone but for me honesty is key. I would rather have an indy SP (or a booker) tell me the truth on why a meeting is cancel"
Ok well yes some peoples are weird/dangerous. I can only speak for myself there
 

Fradi

Well-Known Member
Apr 9, 2019
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Around the corner
I really see two sides to this the first being, why does she agree to see him if she doesn’t intend to.
She could simply say I don’t want to see you or not respond at all if she doesn’t want to get into any kind of confrontation.
Playing games and cancelling all the time is just plain stupid behaviour, there is nothing that could be said in favour of someone who does this.
Rates whatever are irrelevant.

The other is after she does this to you on 3 separate times, why bother trying again.
Plenty of other young ladies in Montreal that will be happy to see you or should I say happy to take your money.
 

Halloween Mike

The Shape
Apr 19, 2009
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, but there's been a few times that a regular client did something that made me uncomfortable and they stopped booking me after I confronted them about it, because they took it really personally. And like Giselle said we never know how someone might react, it could be worse than losing the client. Even if the client doesn't have a violent reaction to being confronted he could still decide to spread false rumors about us or ruin our reputation otherwise.

I think sometimes maybe the reason why the excuse for cancelling sounds phony is the SP might be afraid you won't find her professionnal if she tells the truth.
As i said the psycho clients i can't relate ...

But you shouldn't be afraid to loose a client if you confront him and he chose to not see you after. It mean what he did made you uncomfortable but for him maybe that thing is part of what he like and is acceptable for another SP. So you were not a match for him any more... He respected you not booking you anymore. Just my way of seeing it.

As for not finding her professional well let me judge ...lol. It then will be up to me if i try again...

Maybe im just too honest of a person for this business lol
 

Vegeta1

Member
Nov 24, 2022
28
28
18
Most of us don't live at our incalls, but we also don't sit at the incall perfectly groomed and polished hoping someone will hire us. We don't work in shifts. This is why it's best to book in advance by at least a day or two.
I find that an SP's tenure is generally negatively correlated with quality of service. In my opinion, as time goes by, SP's generally get jaded, too comfortable, and care less about punctuality and appearance, etc. In this instance, OP clearly stipulated that he made multiple appointments ahead of time that were all cancelled by the SP in question. While I understand the inherent risk associated with the profession and acknowledge the precautions that you and your colleagues take, why are you flipping the blame on the OP?

The other issue is customers are too tolerant to these behaviors and keep giving business to the SPs that are not professional, and respectful of customer's time. While I respect OP's persistence, I would have moved on after the second cancellation.
 
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Vegeta1

Member
Nov 24, 2022
28
28
18
I have no problem against OP and anyone participating in this conversation (I'm particularly grateful for my colleagues Julia & Giselle & Michelle here and their comments), but this type of thread is one of the reasons why I try to avoid participating in this forum now... I notice this trend that consists in someone complaining about a situation that feels outrageous to some but there is missing information and something important that everyone is avoiding. :)

First of all let's talk about this gentleman who tried to book someone 5-6 times and was cancelled on every time. On one hand this type of behavior can appear very unprofessional and it sounds shocking and frustrating. But why keep trying to book her? After 1 or 2 cancellations I can understand why you would try again but 3-4-5? There are plenty of SP's you could see instead.

One possibility is that the person is going through something we don't know, such as having health issues or having to take care of emergencies, and the flexibility of being an independent provider allows someone who's going through a chaotic life situation to make money. Okay, now that we found out she has new rates that other clients are paying, could it be understandable that in this industry somebody would eventually not want to see clients who don't want to pay new rates? I don't want to imply that OP has inappropriate behavior and I don't know him or the situation and have no idea who this is referring to (and I don't want to know). But it's easy to imagine why certain clients are prioritized by a SP and why she may not be as excited to see some others... And I'm not talking about the client's attractiveness. It can be really hard to communicate to a client that we don't want to see them anymore and why. Confronting a client on something they did that make us uncomfortable can be risky and cause problems. Also if this provider is popular and raised her rates and is seeing someone who pays her old rates, she might be too tired to take on bookings that are less lucrative.. It might not even be personal.

The second problem I'm seeing in this thread is someone being upset that he wasn't able to book someone at a specific moment. There's a difference between getting cancelled on several times and not being able to book a provider. I don't think it's dishonest to say you're available during a certain time frame and then not being able to book a client. Schedules change. We post our ads sometimes to get visibility and not to signal that we're available. And I'll speak for myself, I'll give an example. Suppose it's friday and I post in the morning that I'm available all day and nobody contacts me .. I'm going to go ahead and do something else, I'm not going to sit around and look at my computer and my phone until I get a message. And if I end up getting a message from someone who says ''I want to see you in a hour'' I might not be able to rush and take the booking.

I'm trying to put myself in everyone's shoes and I understand wanting to see someone in the heat of the moment or really wanting to see a certain SP badly, but in the end it comes across as a bit entitled to be really upset that you weren't able to see her. Nobody is entitled to a booking with a specific SP. :) Very often if a SP doesn't want to see a particular client there's a good reason. (discrimination aside) For example if I notice that someone here comes across as really angry and hateful and disrespectful of women, I could decide not to see him if he tried to book me, but another SP may not have an issue with it.
While you are free to tailor your own clientele and dictate your own booking preferences, I struggle to understand why you and your colleagues are defending or giving the benefit of the doubt to an SP who demonstrated this behavior with several clients (i.e., not just the OP). If this situation happened to you when trying to book a hairdresser, electrician, plumber, etc. then how would you react in this situation? Based on the comments that ensued the first post, it is clear that the SP in question is disorganized, scattered, unable to communicate, and repeated this behavior with numerous customers notwithstanding the fees negotiated - this behavior is completely unacceptable. You also need to realize that when a dude is horny, he will generally try and book an appointment ASAP, not weeks ahead - if that is not how you, your colleagues, or the SP in question operate, you can respectfully decline without dragging the process out, and cancelling multiple times. This why I personally stick to agencies and AMPs.
 
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Lunaseraphim

Of the moon
Supporting Member
Jul 18, 2024
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www.lunasparx.com
While you are free to tailor your own clientele and dictate your own booking preferences, I struggle to understand why you and your colleagues are defending or giving the benefit of the doubt to an SP who demonstrated this behavior with several clients (i.e., not just the OP). If this situation happened to you when trying to book a hairdresser, electrician, plumber, etc. then how would you react in this situation? Based on the comments that ensued the first post, it is clear that the SP in question is disorganized, scattered, unable to communicate, and repeated this behavior with numerous customers notwithstanding the fees negotiated - this behavior is completely unacceptable. You also need to realize that when a dude is horny, he will generally try and book an appointment ASAP, not weeks ahead - if that is not how you, your colleagues, or the SP in question operate, you can respectfully decline without dragging the process out, and cancelling multiple times. This why I personally stick to agencies and AMPs.
I'm not defending this person, I don't even know who she is. I've said many times I don't approve of how this person is acting. :) I never said this behaviour is acceptable.

I was just trying to figure out the situation and why someone would keep trying to book the same person who's constantly canceling, because OP asked why such thing would happen, then I tried to explain to someone else why someone wouldn't feel comfortable telling a client he made her uncomfortable. (Which was a tangent)

Also I'm sorry but a dude being horny isn't the same as needing an electrician because the power isn't working at your house. I don't know why you're making this analogy.

I never canceled multiple times on a client or asked anyone to book many weeks ahead lol. Nor do I feel jaded or put less effort into my presentation compared to when I first started. I don't really understand why you're putting us all in the same category. None of us is putting the blame on OP, read the thread carefully and notice how I said several times that I don't know him and my answers have nothing to do with him.

All I'm saying is if somebody just keeps cancelling on you, there's no point in continuously trying to book the person, and you can move on to a different SP who will gladly see you. :) hope you have a nice day.

For me this is just a lesson to continue avoiding this board aside from posting my ad because I don't feel like this is serving me.
 
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Mandouke

Well-Known Member
Apr 5, 2022
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Also I'm sorry but a dude being horny isn't the same as needing an electrician because the power isn't working in your house. I don't know why you're making this analogy.
What Vegeta1 said makes perfect sense to me as a male, and the analogy is correct.

In my particular case, I was booking in advance because we had planned a special occasion; it was not a spur-of-the-moment decision to book her. I wanted to realize this occasion that we were planning for and had discussed in depth, and it is obvious now that she was stringing me along. That is why I did not move along.
 

Lunaseraphim

Of the moon
Supporting Member
Jul 18, 2024
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www.lunasparx.com
What Vegeta1 said makes perfect sense to me as a male, and the analogy is correct.

In my particular case, I was booking in advance because we had planned a special occasion; it was not a spur-of-the-moment decision to book her. I wanted to realize this occasion that we were planning for and had discussed in depth, and it is obvious now that she was stringing me along. That is why I did not move along.
I don't think it's a correct analogy personally. Not being able to have sex wont have the same consequences on your life than not having power or plumbing.

I know your post wasn't about a spur of the moment decision to book her which is why I think the analogy is even more strange in this context.

I'm really sorry this SP was stringing you along and I can assure you that not everyone will have this attitude in the industry. Obviously after discussing it in depth it's upsetting that the booking was cancelled several times. I cannot apologize enough if my comments offended you. :)

I hope you have good experiences in the future with other ladies who will not cancel or at least not string you along like this.