The Bitching thread

[Lunaseraphim]

Astute (I love saying that word, especially around people who don't necessarily hear it the same way) observation.

1. The (relative) anonymity of a BBS can act as a dis-inhibitor. In theory, people can ask questions without revealing their RW identity. That can lead to more openness and candor. In theory.

2. The same anonymity also allows people to posture as something they are not (example, Alpha males with large....IQs) and not respond with empathy, understanding, and nuance. A BBS like this can become yet another echo chamber, like Twitter became (more of) when it became X. Or a (fill in the blank) shaming / blaming chamber.

3. As a lifelong observer and researcher of human behavior (I can watch them all day long), this board has allowed me to observe very intelligent, perceptive people and also allowed me to begin direct communication with those who also perceive that there's more to the story than just the screen persona. A few of those "back channel" communications actual resulted in very intense, personal, and intimate communications with other men who are facing prostate cancer and what life and sex are like afterward (spoiler alert: GREAT!!!!) as well as recovering from a heart attack as well as double cataract surgery. That was / is never the goal, but if you ask me an honest question about something I have experienced, I will more than likely respond. Men have a lot of fear about sex, primarily the fear of not being able to perform. I'm way past that point. It took me awhile, but now I realize that the most important sex organ everyone has (and the least used, perhaps) is the brain.

I think that it is possible to start an honest, meaningful dialogue on this platform, but one has to be patient and disciplined. The signal to noise ratio is a bit high, but nothing like US based BBS's.

Just my $0.02 USD, worth everything you paid for.

My problem with this board is that it has a very specific demographic, which doesn't allow many points of view. For that reason, when people bring new opinions and ways of seeing things, they are insulted or demonized, and they leave, censor themselves or change their way of interacting in order to fit in with the crowd. I've also had conversations in private messages with many users (they initiated, not me), and some of them were very interesting at first, but I often ended up finding out that the reason I was approached in the first place was disingenuous and sneaky, which is something I will not really elaborate on, because I don't think it's useful.

I do think that since most users are men and participating in an activity that is sometimes frowned upon by society, I'm sure it feels somewhat like a safe space for many users to share about their insecurities and their health, although some will get insulted if they don't agree with the status quo.. but let's not forget what the main topic of this board is : reviewing escorts and talking about them. There is a whole world outside of Merb and other escort review boards. I myself used to participate on forums a lot as a teenager and in my early adulthood, which made me understand this : the interest that brings people together in a specific cyber space will strongly orient the discussions, and the people who participate on a regular basis tend to belong to very specific categories..

It won't help anybody grow and learn if they are either coddled or insulted.. particularly if they're given the wrong information. But I like hearing about your point of view, because it shows how a space like this can be subverted

 

[LC18]

Il est inclus à volonté avec la plupart des mets principaux. Désolé j'ai juste réservé pour moi, Luna et Giselle. Tu arrives trop tard. LOL

I don’t like bread I was just surprised it wouldn’t be free, my parents are cheap I doubt they would have paid for that and I remember going there as a child

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

My problem with this board is that it has a very specific demographic, which doesn't allow many points of view. For that reason, when people bring new opinions and ways of seeing things, they are insulted or demonized, and they leave, censor themselves or change their way of interacting in order to fit in with the crowd

If we take the word "demographic" literally, I would say that it's quite the opposite: we have people from a vast age range, from different ethnicities and levels of education. My view on the situation is that most of our disagreements here are actually generational, and to a lesser extent, cultural. Let's face it, it's always the same two or three people who are often confrontational, and they are predictable–and not part of my demographic.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

If we take the word "demographic" literally, I would say that it's quite the opposite: we have people from a vast age range, from different ethnicities and levels of education. My view on the situation is that most of our disagreements here are actually generational, and to a lesser extent, cultural. Let's face it, it's always the same two or three people who are often confrontational, and they are predictable–and not part of my demographic.

Maybe I worded this the wrong way, but there are very specific types of people who use this forum a lot, and men from certain demographics are more common here.. I also don't think being ''confrontational'' is a bad thing, as long as it's done with respect.. The disagreements here always revolve around the same things as well, in my opinion.. and I guess that's because of the reason why this forum exists in the first place.

Anyways, what I was trying to say is that I don't think this is the right place to seek advice on certain things or find solace, but I'm glad some people were able to have truly vulnerable discussions with their peers if that's the case