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Special K

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May 3, 2003
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Too funny!

Karma said:
Really, this is the first impression I got from him : a tourist. I could see the banana hat, the idiotic smile, the camera around his
neck, and obviously, THE PALM SHIRT - (with nice kaki short, of course)

Karma,

You certainly have a way with words and it's nice to see that you never mince them. Lol. :D

When our paths finally cross and as my present to you I'll be sure to answer the door in this exact same outfit :cool:

At least I'll have fresh breath though and make sure I'm trimmed to below 15cm. :p

SK
 

alexa taylor

New Member
Apr 28, 2004
5
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Ottawa & Toronto
alexataylor.com
Insane Client Reviews

Hi Everyone,

I don't post here but saw the link on TERB and couldn't resist. LOL. The following review is in fact real and a ficticious name has been used to protect the privacy of this individual. This is an excerpt from rough material I have for a novel I am currently writing during my time as a pro.

CLAUDE-

This is a review from when I first started as an escort. I had already met him once and he seemed like an okay guy. The second time he called, I went to his place and knocked at the door. As he opened the door, I jumped back. The guy was dressed in a bra, enormous satin granny panties, bright red lipstick comparable to the blood that Dracula would have sucked out of someone, tacky blue eyeshadow and thigh high stockings topped off with the most hidious shoes I have ever seen- ever! Even bad fashion from previous decades couldn't top what was on his big manly feet.

Claude invited me in and I had to stop myself from pissing my pants laughing- literally! We sat on the sofa and he got into a role-playing mood almost immediately. The last time I visited, he showed no signs of being into cross-dressing but I could tell he had a bit of a feminine side to him. He clapped his hands and the lights went off and the music went on. Did I mention that he had a strobe light in there as well? Hahaha. He proceeds to get naked while doing a strip tease to the song "Stayin Alive" by the Bee Gees. By this time I am ready to ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!! and ready to almost pee in my pants since I could no longer contain my laughter! He started doing the John Travolta moves as he kept removing pieces of lingere. By the end of the song, all I could see was a hairy body. So hairy in fact, I thought I should be feeding a banana to a monkey at the zoo!

I decided to have a little fun and seize the moment by pretending I was a patron in perverts row at a strip club and took play money he had from the Monopoly game on his coffee table. I was throwing the bills at him and then started to rub a twenty dollar bill on his cock to turn him on. I said "Come over here you sexy thang and give me a lap dance". Although, I did make sure to get a towel first. He began grinding his hips into me as I was pulling his nipples. His cock was getting very hard and then all of a sudden he jumps up and claps his hands. The lights came on like it was a raid in a champagne room in a strip club and then he was on to another game.

He was still naked when he said he wanted to try something that was very daring. He went over to his patio door and opened it. Then he told me under no circumstances was I to let him in after he went outside. Even if he was banging on the glass. This was in the middle of March and all I could think was I'd have to stick his cock in the microwave just to let it defrost if he stayed out there long enough. He told me to sit on the sofa and watch him stand out there as he humiliated himself in front of his neighbors. All I could think was how the hell am I going to get out of here?? I knew he was harmless but this was too fucked- even for me. So he was standing there rubbing his cock and since he lived in a part of Ottawa that was known for its high crime rate, I thought what are the chances that one of his pissed off neighbors will call the police for indecent exposure? As I heard police sirens, my heart would skip a beat and I wanted to bolt. Being the professional that I am, I decided to stick it out like Claude had done with his cock. I figured I would have a good laugh over this someday. "Bang, bang" was heard on the glass door and it made me jump. He had this crazed look in his eye like a raving loon who forgot to take his medication. He starts to scream "I have a big hard cock and want to get fucked in the ass! Fuck me Alexa, fuck me!" By now, I had to run to the door to open because if I didn't, someone else would be banging on his front door. I said "Claude, please come in, I don't like this game anymore." Much to my surprise, his response was in his thick French accent "I don't give a fuck mon cherie, I want to get fucked in the ass dis evening."

There was silence and then the phone rang. It was his thirteen year old daughter who had lived with him and she was on her way home from a friend's house. WTF?? The game was over as I breathed a sigh of relief. He seemed a bit dilerious and then began to talk about his daughter in a very perverted fashion (can you say pedophile??) and how he once had his ex girlfriend over along with a friend of hers and got her naked and locked her outside on the balcony. I had heard enough and made a mad dash to the door telling him my driver was there. There really was no driver but as you can see, I had been through enough in just under an hour. I remember pulling out of that parking lot with my wheels spinning and my foot on the gas pedal as a security guard looked on.


Shortly after that, I took a long hiatus from the business ( not incident related) and vowed never again to visit someone at their place.
 
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MakeIt

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Feb 6, 2004
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Great story Alexa, I'm sure it will be an interesting book - that guy is one sick puppy. I hope that these kind of people are rare exceptions.:eek:
 

Robin

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Mar 11, 2003
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Alexa, Ottawa Independent

alexa taylor said:
Hi Everyone
As one of Alexa's first reviewers on Lyla's list in 1998, her name brought back a flood of pleasant memories. (No, I wasn't the bra & panties guy.) I even remember us hugging naked in front of the window in my upper floor hotel room and she pointed out the building where she lived or used to live. I dug frantically though my backup archives to find this review and I'm posting it here because it is not available on any free site now.

Alexa, I'm sure you'll do well as a visiting escort in Montreal. I hope this review doesn't make you feel old!

Name: Alexa
Category: Independent Escort
Phone: (613) 228-6999
Type: Outcall
City: Ottawa, Ontario

Rating Looks: Attitude: Quality: Above Average Excellent Excellent

Description: I called Alexa in Ottawa, and the lady answering
the phone said she would send her in an hour. I was not
disappointed. Alexa was a friendly, laid-back, escort who
let me do whatever I wanted. We had oral both ways and full
service. (Is that a half and half and half?) She decided to
take a shower in my hotel room before she left. I asked if
she would let me join her, and she did!

I had a second session with her a few days later and showed
her online reviews on Lyla's board. She noticed innaccurate
estimates of her statistics, and gave me her corrections:

Alexa: 5'3", 115 lbs, 34C-24-32
19 years, Blonde hair, Blue eyes
(613) 228-6999 ($160 per hour)

Reviewed By: Robin
Date: Friday, May 29, 1998 at 18:41:02
 
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alexa taylor

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Apr 28, 2004
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Ottawa & Toronto
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Robin said:
As one of Alexa's first reviewers on Lyla's list in 1998, her name brought back a flood of pleasant memories. (No, I wasn't the bra & panties guy.) I even remember us hugging naked in front of the window in my upper floor hotel room and she pointed out the building where she lived or used to live. I dug frantically though my backup archives to find this review and I'm posting it here because it is not available on any free site now.

Alexa, I'm sure you'll do well as a visiting escort in Montreal. I hope this review doesn't make you feel old!

Name: Alexa
Category: Independent Escort
Phone: (613) 228-6999
Type: Outcall
City: Ottawa, Ontario

Rating Looks: Attitude: Quality: Above Average Excellent Excellent

Description: I called Alexa in Ottawa, and the lady answering
the phone said she would send her in an hour. I was not
disappointed. Alexa was a friendly, laid-back, escort who
let me do whatever I wanted. We had oral both ways and full
service. (Is that a half and half and half?) She decided to
take a shower in my hotel room before she left. I asked if
she would let me join her, and she did!

I had a second session with her a few days later and showed
her online reviews on Lyla's board. She noticed innaccurate
estimates of her statistics, and gave me her corrections:

Alexa: 5'3", 115 lbs, 34C-24-32
19 years, Blonde hair, Blue eyes
(613) 228-6999 ($160 per hour)

Reviewed By: Robin
Date: Friday, May 29, 1998 at 18:41:02


OH gosh, I do feel old. LOL. May 29, almost to the day. Although I do wish I was 19 again and had those MEASUREMENTS. If I knew then what I knew now.. Hehehe. Thanks Robin.. I really do remember the time we spent together at the Minto Suite. Thanks for a great time!
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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Tracy said:
J’ai hate qu’il revienne… j’en veut encore et encore.

Le rate puisqu’on est dans rate the client:
10/10 partout!

Alors on n'est pas tous des 10/10?:rolleyes: (So we're not all 10/10?:rolleyes: )

GG
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
3,459
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Tracy said:
lol general.. presque!:p

Tracy,

I am glad you have a sense of humour!:D

GG
 

Nellie

New Member
Jun 17, 2006
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Reviews...

Hey! I just learned that there was a place to talk about the clients... Sorry, I'm late:eek: I'm gonna make some reviews soon I think... Could be funny!:p
 

ElBastardo

Member
Apr 30, 2006
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Rating

Unless I'm a good client I don't wanna know :p
But the stories are funny, please continue this thread.

Cheers all,

ElBastardo
 

ck_nj

Wine, women, & song ...
Jul 6, 2004
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So far we have heard from the following ladies:
Magda, Maylee, Kim, Naughtlylady, Emily, Sadie, Karma, Alexa Taylor, Tracy

Keep the 'reviews' coming! They are very entertaining!
Any other ladies that have not posted in this thread, please participate too.

CK
 

Special K

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May 3, 2003
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Thanks for the link S05. Just reading a couple of her entries and it appears she's highly educated and a very proficient writer which is a nice thing. :) Intelligence really is a turn on, now if only I could find a picture of her. Lol.

Ok, I just spent the past hour reading through her entire blog and yes there are a couple of pictures posted and she definitely appears to be attractive. :) Hopefully she'll get back to updating it and maybe working more frequently at Cleo's, I would very much like to meet her for a drink and a dance or two when I return.
 
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Rook01

Amor est vitae essentia
Nov 25, 2004
193
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In the depths of Dante's Second Circle
Okay, This thread rocks. heh the other side of the coin, I love it !!! Man, SPs need their own section. Hmmm anyone know any SPs that have Blogs from Montreal, This stuff is cool.
 

Just-ass-weet

New Member
Jan 9, 2006
515
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A session first

I never thought I could do this, but the gentleman insisted that he wouldn't be upset, just a bit disappointed if I couldn't provide this service. He was looking for an escort who could offer a little humiliation. He wanted to be treated like a bad little school boy. I agreed, since sometimes, we have to try something new.

He asked me to meet him at his home, I put on my best teacher knows best attitude and my glasses and headed over. I didn't hestitate to get into character since I believed that this was what he wanted. I asked to speak to his parents and he explained nervously that they were not home. Well, you get the idea, I was derating him about his school work, his lack of decorum in class and his constantly messed homework assignments. He seemed to like this and continually rubbed himself until I asked him how he was going to make amends for his failure.

He offered to do extra math and I had him do some right then and there - every answer he gave right - I would tell him that even a moron would know that - each wrong answer I made him take off a peice of clothing... until he was naked in front of me. He was a small guy - could have passed as a teen easily! I made him stand in the window and show the street his wee-wee... this excited him even more - so I scolded him.

Finally our time was coming to a close, and I felt since he had done all his homework for the night, that he could release himself on my feet. He did so promptly and I told him to lick it up.

I never got to know the guy and will not see him again, since I enjoy more intimacy during a session... there was literally no touching, no "real" interaction" - it was a first for me, and I highly believe that it was a last as well.

xoxox
Anik
 

Just-ass-weet

New Member
Jan 9, 2006
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Roland said:
Oh........... Anik....,
I can see you as the school teacher: Open jacket and tight dark slit skirt just below the knees hair in a bun , stern looks , horn rimmed glasses wearing a peach silk blouse accented by hard protruding nipples , 6 inch stilettos and nylons with the line in the back.......sigh......

I don't know what school you went to Roland - but none of my teachers wore 6-inch stilettos!! Close description though - very close! Were you the guy across the street with the binoculars! lol!

xoxox
Anik
 

ElBastardo

Member
Apr 30, 2006
101
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maylee said:
Bonne année Elbastardo, à quand le prochain percing?

Bonne année à toi aussi, tu deviens plus belle de jour en jour. En 2007, va falloir mettre des lunettes de soleil tellement tu vas éblouir. ;)

Prochain piercing? C'est pas que je suis tant percé avec 4 à mon actif...
Mais il risque d'y en avoir un 5e... quelque part :p

Bonnne année à tous/Happy new year everybody,

ElBastardo
 
May 8, 2007
651
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Montréal
sexybbwvero.com
maylee said:
Une autre histoire.

L'histoire d'un gars distrait pas à peu près.

Pourtant pas parce qu'il ne me connait pas, je l'ai comme client depuis mes débûts, du temps de Lasalle... mais y change pas.

Il jase jamais, ne me regarde presque pas, je me demande pourquoi il vient me voir, honnêtement... pas de réaction, ou si peu. Anyway.

C'est pas la première fois non plus qu'il vient me voir à Montréal, je dirais qu'il a dû me visiter 5 fois. Alors, comme on dit, il connait les lieux.

Mon système est toujours le même :

Il y a un panier dans lequel toutes les choses sont dedans :

Serviette, savon, shampoing, gel pour les cheveux, antisudorifique... tout s'qui faut quoi.

Chaque fois, il oublie le panier dans la chambre, prends ma serviette dans la salle de bain, mon savon, et revient dans la salle de massage. Chaque fois...

Je lui dit : T'as encore oublié d'apporter le panier!

Il dit : I know...

Cette fois, c'était différent. J'avais acheté un nouveau produit, je ne le nommerai pas, pour nettoyer la douche. Pour ceux qui ne l'ont pas vu sur le marché encore, c'est comme une distributrice de savon, c'est accroché sur le pommeau de douche. Mais, quand on pèse sour le bouton, c'est du détergeant qui toune à 360 degré, et ça poivre pas ordinaire.

Alors j'avertis mon client mêlé de ne pas peser sur le bouton, que c'est fort et dangereux.

Alors, comme il a oublié toutes ses affaires, et je l'ai pas vu partir dans la salle de bain, il s'est lavé sans savon, car eh oui, il s'est souvenu tout de même de ne pas peser sur le bouton, pour ne pas se faire arroser, que c'était pas du savon, et il m'a écouté. Je dois dire que maintenant, j'enlève le savon dans ma douche, car je ne veux pas qu'on prenne mes affaires.

Pas grave il a dû dire, j'étais pas si sale. Alors, il est sorti, avec ma serviette autour de la taille...

À la fin du massage, j'ai pas à compter le tout, c'est rien de particuilier...

Il se lève toujours d'un coup sec, comme s'il venait de faire une affaire épouvantable et qu'il doit se sauver en courrant :confused:

Alors, moi je suis habituée, je sais que dans deux minutes, il sera sorti de la douche et déjà habillé.

Mais là, il m'a fait une surprise. Il s'est levé et au lieu d'entrer dans ma salle de bain, il s'est précipité dans mon garde-robe!

Pas à dire, tout le monde sait que la salle de bain est pas là, et lui le sait aussi.

Bon, moi j'essaie de pas trop rire, il a toujours bien sa fierté...:D Mais c'est drôle pareil...

Mais pas assez distrait le gars.

Non, il décide d'apporter cette fois le panier! Quand même, il va pas tout perdre, et là, j'entends le bruit du distributeur de détergeant partir :D

Et ça dûre environ 15 secondes, c'est long... et il n'est pas sorti de la douche!

Alors il s'est fait arroser d'aplomb. Il devait être super désinfecté.

Ça pas eu l'air de le déranger, il a fait semblant de rien, et est parti en courrant, comme d'habitude, la queue dans la raie, et le regard fuyant.



Look : Grand mince, crâne rasé, beau body.

Personnalité : Super gêné, dit jamais un mot, pas difficile comme client.

Repeat : C'est sûr, j'ai pas de problème avec ça moi, je le trouve ben comique.



Morale de cette histoire :

Je ne sais pas vous autres, mais moi, j'ai des clients mêlés rare. Ils écoutent jamais ce que je dis, font souvent le contraire.

Exemple, je leur dit de se déshabiller dans la salle de massage, de mettre les vêtements sur les crochets, de prendre le panier avec tout ce qu'il faut et de l'apporter dans la douche, anyway, c'est pas ce qu'ils font.

Ils se déshabillent dans la salle de bain, laissent leurs vêtements à terre, un peu partout, prennent mes serviettes, se lavent avec mon savon... ou tout simplement se lavent avec le shampoing :confused:

Pour éviter toutes confusions, j'ai enlevé des affaires dans mon panier, trop de choses, je suis revenue basic. Parce qu'un gars, c'est basic.

Donc, il n'y a plus que du savon et de l'antisudorifique, mais quand même, j'ai pensé à tout, j'en ai qui sent quelque chose et d'autre qui sent rien, si on ne veut pas laisser de traces.

Et là, on me crie dans la douche :

Mayleeeeeee, quel savon je dois prendre???

Mayleeeeeee, quel antisudorique tu veux que je mette????

Mayleeeeeee, c'est pas du savon ça??? Comment je fais pour arrêter cette patante là, je me fais arroser!!!

Mayleeeeeee, veux-tu m'aporter mes lunettes, je vois rien!

Mayleeeeeee, quelle serviette je prends????? La serviette dans le panier, c'est tu pour moi????

Non mais... c'est tu juste moi? ;)


Maylee

http://cyberquebec.ca/maylee/

mdrrrrrrr...tres drôle ma belle!!! moi c'est plutôt rare qu'ils aient le temps d'être mêlé....comme tu le sais déjà, je suis plutôt une mangeuse d'homme hihihihi...heureusement aussi que j'ai un grand loft ..mais jai quand meme des gens qui pensent aller a la salle de bain et qui se retouvent dans ma salle de lavage loll:rolleyes: depuis ce jour j'ai apposé un collant metallique sur ma porte de salle de bain ...indiquant quelle est une salle de bain et mixte en plus!!!! :p C'est vraie que ça leur prends pas grand chose pour être mêlé mais je les comprends...car quand je faisais du outcall , ca m'Arrivait d'être quelque peu nerveuse et mêlée :)
 
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