Did you, by any chance, change your profile picture to the one with the yellow smoking jacket? If so, that's not good form sir. How could they resist?
Long term arrangements
- Thread starter r00t
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Did you, by any chance, change your profile picture to the one with the yellow smoking jacket? If so, that's not good form sir. How could they resist?
I don’t have a profile pic. The pics in my profile are all private and cannot be viewed unless permission is granted and these were “cold call” favorites. In other words those who are favoriting me unsolicited and don’t know what I look like. They are favoriting based on what they read in my profile, but they probably didn’t read it. That’s the point- it’s trolls looking for a response. I don’t think you read or understood what I posted. Or else you don’t use SA so as to understand what I posted.
I started out with SPs but have switched to SeekingArrangement. If you find the right girl on SA, there is a much stronger connection - which is important to me. As other posters have indicated, you have to commit A LOT of time to sorting through the profiles and there are sometimes no-shows. But once you find a keeper you can continue for a year or even longer (unless you get bored). Bottom line, each man is looking for something different. To each his own.
Thanks for your nice comment
I don't really take much time to come here anymore, just once in a while, and I'm no longer fan of the "kiss & tell" approach (reviews). There's not much more I can tell, other than generalities. However, feel free to ask any question, and I'll be pleased to reply if I have an intelligent answer
Wisdom? Naaaahh! Just some experience!
I have experienced the same type of "sollicitation" as well. Before reacting on any woman favoriting me, I first check if she also viewed my profile. It's a very good way to differentiate REAL interest vs interest in your money only. Notice how easy it is to favorite a bunch of people right from the list of people showing on the search screen, without even opening the profile! When they do that, it's clearly and attempt to sollicit your attention, either as an SP, or worst, a scammer trying to lure you in sending her money in exchange of promises about hopes you may have. I normally just block them. As EagerBeaver suggested, never EVER send money up front!
CA
CA,
With that recent type of solicitation I normally assume there is no real interest but if the profile has pics of a very hot looking woman I do respond just to see where it goes, and it typically ends in the kind of exchange I described. The usual MO is to give you a cell # or ask for yours. Once that exchange happens you get a chat going and inevitably there is an invitation to exchange pics and vids for money, coupled with a story that they need money right away. And some will send a teaser pic or video but who knows if it’s the actual girl. Two different times the story I got was, “my phone will be shut off today.” I invite them to meet me for coffee or lunch and on several occasions have offered to give them in cash the $60 they are asking for via Cash App. When they say no to that, that’s when you know for sure they are scammers and probably actually men who are using pics or vids of their GFs. I am fairly certain that is now happening with greater frequency on SA.
One of the reasons I know it’s now happening with greater frequency is because SA has a new rule that if you discuss “exclusively” online only arrangements, you will receive a 24 hour suspension, and you will only be allowed back with messaging privileges if you verify that you watched an instructional video. This was never a board rule until recently. In the past there were tons of college girls selling nude pics and videos as the only arrangements they would do. Now there are scammers on both sides- guys posing as hot SB girls with their own ex or current GF’s pics to scam the SDs, and guys posing as SDs seeking bank info of SBs in order to send them money. Was only a matter of time before SA was infiltrated fully with these scammers and the only way to defeat them is to demand in person meetings as a condition to getting any money.
The SA rule language is somewhat ambiguous and you need to really, really be careful about talking about transactional stuff in SA messages now. The best protocol is to exchange numbers and take it off site once transactional stuff begins to get discussed. Because I have done both online and in person dating arrangements and you risk suspension if you put those proposals out in an SA message and it sounds like it could be “online only”. The scammers know this too, which is why they give out their cell# or ask for yours quickly.
All of the above being said, there are many legit hot girls on SA who will do pics arrangements, dinner dates or both, you just have to be careful and have a really good bullshit radar and filter to identify them.
With that recent type of solicitation I normally assume there is no real interest but if the profile has pics of a very hot looking woman I do respond just to see where it goes, and it typically ends in the kind of exchange I described. The usual MO is to give you a cell # or ask for yours. Once that exchange happens you get a chat going and inevitably there is an invitation to exchange pics and vids for money, coupled with a story that they need money right away. And some will send a teaser pic or video but who knows if it’s the actual girl. Two different times the story I got was, “my phone will be shut off today.” I invite them to meet me for coffee or lunch and on several occasions have offered to give them in cash the $60 they are asking for via Cash App. When they say no to that, that’s when you know for sure they are scammers and probably actually men who are using pics or vids of their GFs. I am fairly certain that is now happening with greater frequency on SA.
One of the reasons I know it’s now happening with greater frequency is because SA has a new rule that if you discuss “exclusively” online only arrangements, you will receive a 24 hour suspension, and you will only be allowed back with messaging privileges if you verify that you watched an instructional video. This was never a board rule until recently. In the past there were tons of college girls selling nude pics and videos as the only arrangements they would do. Now there are scammers on both sides- guys posing as hot SB girls with their own ex or current GF’s pics to scam the SDs, and guys posing as SDs seeking bank info of SBs in order to send them money. Was only a matter of time before SA was infiltrated fully with these scammers and the only way to defeat them is to demand in person meetings as a condition to getting any money.
The SA rule language is somewhat ambiguous and you need to really, really be careful about talking about transactional stuff in SA messages now. The best protocol is to exchange numbers and take it off site once transactional stuff begins to get discussed. Because I have done both online and in person dating arrangements and you risk suspension if you put those proposals out in an SA message and it sounds like it could be “online only”. The scammers know this too, which is why they give out their cell# or ask for yours quickly.
All of the above being said, there are many legit hot girls on SA who will do pics arrangements, dinner dates or both, you just have to be careful and have a really good bullshit radar and filter to identify them.
Eager,
Thanks for your detailled experiences. I totally agree with what you are describing, but I didn't know about the new SA rules.
I think we are not looking for the same thing though. My point of view about meetings on SA is this: I'm not interrested AT ALL in online stuff, so any favoriting from someone who didn't look at my profile is ruled out. Same thing if a woman requests to see my pictures at the very begining of the conversation (some don't even say Hello! LOL). I have a teaser picture (blurred), but if you're not interrested first by what I have to say (and I have a very long profile), then there's no point. I'm no longer interrested in "empty" sex. I want the woman to enjoy her time not only sexually, but also in getting to know each other as well. I guess I'm right somewhere in my approach, as it works; at least for me!
CA
Thanks for your detailled experiences. I totally agree with what you are describing, but I didn't know about the new SA rules.
I think we are not looking for the same thing though. My point of view about meetings on SA is this: I'm not interrested AT ALL in online stuff, so any favoriting from someone who didn't look at my profile is ruled out. Same thing if a woman requests to see my pictures at the very begining of the conversation (some don't even say Hello! LOL). I have a teaser picture (blurred), but if you're not interrested first by what I have to say (and I have a very long profile), then there's no point. I'm no longer interrested in "empty" sex. I want the woman to enjoy her time not only sexually, but also in getting to know each other as well. I guess I'm right somewhere in my approach, as it works; at least for me!
CA
Most women also get upset if you ask to see their private pics without an even pithy intro message. It’s a sign to them (and maybe to you as well CA) of poor social skills. I get those requests to see my private pics with no message as well. I admit it’s poor form, but my criteria on whether I respond is pretty much whether the SB has really hot pics that are visible or have been shared with me. If she does, I send her my pics, and start a chat. My profile isn’t very long or wordy- it’s pretty short and describes what I like to do in my free time. But I will send a short and pleasant intro that adds something, because it’s what they want to hear and expect, and it’s good form in the game. 90% of the battle on SA, especially with women in my target age range which is college and grad school women, is to convince them that (1) you aren’t a creep and (2) that you are a gentleman/chivalrous. They are looking for someone who they will be comfortable with - at dinner, going out for a coffee, and eventually in intimate situations.
Regarding that new SA rule, I was not aware of it until it was claimed I violated it. I don’t seek exclusively online arrangements, and didn’t in the instance of the claimed rule violation, but the reality is that some women only want to do that, or they only want to do that until they get to know you better and gain your trust. One woman told me that I had to purchase her sexy pics “to prove I am for real”, once she proved that she was for real. I acknowledge that reality, but now I am more careful when doing so in my messaging. Some of the SBs have the mindset to use online arrangements as a starter to something else- it’s safe and comfortable for them especially because they are getting money for pics they can easily take with their phone and edit to blur or obscure their faces. With certain women, sexy pics and videos are for the girl a way to gain trust and feel chemistry develop, and for the SD it’s a nice appetizer to what could be a very tasty entree. But the majority of my arrangements have been traditional intimate dinner date arrangements. It’s just that women are often more open to starting an intimate arrangement with sexy pics and videos and if that’s what you ultimately need to do to get what you are seeking, and you are really attracted to her, why wouldn’t you pursue it?
Regarding that new SA rule, I was not aware of it until it was claimed I violated it. I don’t seek exclusively online arrangements, and didn’t in the instance of the claimed rule violation, but the reality is that some women only want to do that, or they only want to do that until they get to know you better and gain your trust. One woman told me that I had to purchase her sexy pics “to prove I am for real”, once she proved that she was for real. I acknowledge that reality, but now I am more careful when doing so in my messaging. Some of the SBs have the mindset to use online arrangements as a starter to something else- it’s safe and comfortable for them especially because they are getting money for pics they can easily take with their phone and edit to blur or obscure their faces. With certain women, sexy pics and videos are for the girl a way to gain trust and feel chemistry develop, and for the SD it’s a nice appetizer to what could be a very tasty entree. But the majority of my arrangements have been traditional intimate dinner date arrangements. It’s just that women are often more open to starting an intimate arrangement with sexy pics and videos and if that’s what you ultimately need to do to get what you are seeking, and you are really attracted to her, why wouldn’t you pursue it?
OK, CA, I'd like to know about the financial arrangements that you have made.
Do you usually pay per encounter or do you work out a weekly or monthly allowance?
In either case, what are the typical terms of the deal in dollar amounts and frequency and duration of the meetings?
Also, do you typically meet in an hourly motel or at the residence of the girl?
It would be interesting to know about such things for a city like Montreal, where it is so easy to find great escorts at reasonable prices.
Wowza, certainly not cheap. Thankfully, neither of us drinks. She is a pescatarian making Ferreira a perfect option. I'll fill you in tomorrow. Thanks.
Let me chime in here as well that it's nice to see you here again. I'm pretty much inactive here myself.I don't really take much time to come here anymore, just once in a while, and I'm no longer fan of the "kiss & tell" approach (reviews). There's not much more I can tell, other than generalities. However, feel free to ask any question, and I'll be pleased to reply if I have an intelligent answer
Met my dream girl, woman actually, 33, on SA exactly three years ago. It's been a fabulous ride. For the first couple of years, I'd see the occasional escort when she went home to BC to see her family, but the last few times she went off, I thought about it, but just wasn't in the mood. We're going to Ireland for a couple of weeks next month after which she's going out west again for a week. Remains to be seen if I'll do anything while she's gone.
Enjoy.
Thanks for the nice words.
You do realize the way you used SA to find someone (and I'm very happy for you!) is probably VERY different from the majority of people here, right? From what I'm reading, your dream girl is very similar to what most people call a "wife"
Whether it's a condition or not between you and her, it's almost as if you are faithful to each other, and you are almost like a couple, but with an arrangement (and sex I'm sure - which is not a given with a wife ). In fact, being in a couple is also an arrangement when you think about it. I have a joint bank account with my wife, and if she notices I forgot to put money in the account the day after the usual pay day, for sure she tells me! LOLCA
A while back, I started with an ex-escort (not met on SA but here on MERB), and I was giving her $1,000 a month. She had kept 2 ex-clients, and I was one of the lucky ones (she told me only much later, as for months I tought I was the ONLY one). Then the finances became a bit difficult and I lowered the amount, and eventually stopped. I still have lunch with her once in a while, but she out of the biz now. That was before.
Nowadays, I never give more than $200 par meeting. Many women want more than that, and I have been labelled as "cheap" by a few. I don't mind. I'm a nice guy, I know it, and even if I give them less than some other men, I know they will have a great time (and NO I'm not delusional! LOL). But it goes very different from one woman to the other. Some will accept $150 right off, other will bargain it up or refuse less than so or so (250, 300, 400, 500 go figure!). One girl even asked me 5000 a month. I told her it was 60k$ NET a year, more than most people, and to come back on earth! LOL On one occasion, the young woman didn't want much, just to meet someone nice. She proposed $100 per meeting. I accepted (obviously!), but she only talks Spanish and not me. Google Translate is very useful, but although she's (still) a dream to be with in bed, it makes communication difficult and gets a lot of the pleasure away because we can't joke and laugh together. I still see her once every month or so. Last week I met an older woman for breakfeast. I din't want to see her because she is my age and obviously not as exciting as younger women I used to have fun with, but she kept telling me my profile was unique and it would be so bad to not at least get to know each other and see where it leads to, and yada yada yada. I gave in and in the end she was very nice. When ended up in a hotel room, had fun during 2 hours, and all it costed me was the breakfast and the room. She didn't want anything for herself, just to have fun.
Bottom line, nothing is set in stone. You propose, she disposes.
Where do we usually meet? Again it depends. I normally propose the hotel, but sometimes the girl prefers the simplicity of staying at home. My best encounters were at the woman's place. You bring her nice things to eat (coffee, croissants, whatever), and she leaves her door open for you to come in early in the morning, silently to not wake her up, get undress and slide under her sheets, cuddling her warmth (and waking her up). Mmmmmmm!
With two other ones it was more of a struggle. Both had roomates, and we had to time ourselves in such a way I could come in after they left, and before they come back. I tried with both of them to suggest it would be fun WITH her roomates, but it didn't work! hahaha
The duration of the meetings? Most of the times there is no set timing. In fact, if there is a timing, she's most probably an SP in disguise. Normally you're together for as long as you feel good together. It's normally between 1 to 4 hours, mostly in the range of 2-3 hours. With some women I used to go to a resto almost every time (that was in my "green" days), but mostly now you meet directly at the hotel or at her place, a bit of small talk, you have fun together, calm down talk and joke around, go at it again, calm down, go at it a third and last time, and off you both go.
One thing I learned about women that I didn't really realize when I was seing escorts (and with previous ex's or my wife), it's that MANY women are as sexual as us men can be! And I guess the fact they are on SA it's because they are open minded to start with, and are more lickely to like sex than the "usual" woman. I told you before, and I reapeat it: Many of these women have almost been raping me (and I love it!
)I hope that answers your questions
CA
Oh I forgot... Most of the women I met on SA were not escorts (I try my best to avoid escorts), and for the regular women on there, they mostly want to build something up with one or very few men. They much prefer to see you once or twice a month than meeting you once and never to see you again. They are not escorts after all!
(Isssshhh I know, the line is thin sometimes)CA
Oh sure. Our affair has all the positives of having a wife, and only one of the negatives. And the negative, the rather generous wealth redistribution I share with her each month is not really a negative as I'm quite happy to share my good fortune with her.
That said, we are not tied to each other. We meet two or three times a week, have sex on about 70% of those meetings. We are in some contact when we're not together, though it's not obligatory.
Her profile did specify that she's polyamorous so we're both free to do as we please when we're not together. I have no idea what kind of erotic life she might have when we're not together. It's never been discussed. I do know that she has no other arrangement for lack of need, for lack of interest, and certainly for lack of time. She's also told me she has no interest in guys her own age. Whatever she's doing on the outside, if anything at all, is most likely with other females or trans friends.
We certainly don't live together, have never discussed such a thing, and almost certainly never will. So far we've been to New York, Nova Scotia, Toronto, London, New Orleans, Hawaii, Berlin/Prague. We're spending 10 days in Ireland next month.
I give her about 3/4 of my social security check. That's what it's for, n'est pas? The exchange rate smiles down on me every month.
On the other side, we never do laundry together, she never tells me to take out the trash, she never asks me where I've been or what I've been doing. (Well, ok, she always asks what I'm doing, but never in a "checking up" way.) We don't fight about money or kids. In fact, we don't fight about anything. She doesn't care if I see escorts, though the only time that's ever been discussed is when I brought up the idea of inviting a particularly bisexual escort I'm still in contact with. She's totally up for it, though I haven't done it yet.
She's told me more than once that she considers herself the luckiest girl in the world. She acknowledges my generosity. She was probably born about 30 years too late. She's the hippie chick of my dreams.
Oh, she's also got a professional practice that she's developing that does provide her some income. My assistance also allows her to treat people who need, but can't afford her services.
Thanks, CA. Great response-very interesting, frank and informative. :thumb:
You definitely answered my questions and your answers will be useful to anyone interested in arrangements. For some guys, your answers will encourage them to try it. For other guys, your answers will confirm that they don't want to do it. Also, I think your experience mirrors the experiences of some others who have commented in this thread. Though your experience has certainly been a lot more extensive than mine.
Again, it's great to have you participate on MERB. I know you won't become a regular again, but please drop by here from time to time let us know how you're doing and to tell us about your latest adventures.
CA, a very complete description of SA and a good way to use it which should be highlighted as a recommended read for this thread!
Congrats!
Congrats!
I speak Spanish, you can send me her link
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