Met a lady who had a tattoo of a seashell on her upper thigh, when I put my ear against it I could smell the ocean.... Bahahahahaha...
Joke Thread
- Thread starter donbusch
- Start date
I am guessing that not all women like to be kissed on the neck.
Especially when they are driving and I am in the backseat.
And she does not know I was there.
Or who I am.
Apparently.
Especially when they are driving and I am in the backseat.
And she does not know I was there.
Or who I am.
Apparently.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
US election prediction: Democrats take an early lead which will drastically change later in the day when the Republicans get off work.
Forget to vote in a huge rush to grab Donald Trump KKK/Nazi inflatable HUMP dolls. Too much fun to vote.
Not kidding. http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnnnext/da...latable-kkk-costume-nr-00005230-super-169.jpg
Have you seen those testicles hanging off the hitch on some vehicles?
They always have a BIG dick behind the wheel.
They always have a BIG dick behind the wheel.
I was offered sex today with a Victoria's Secret model. In exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on a public forum. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the incredibly strong bathroom cleanser, now available in lemon scent and vanilla.
A recent study found that doggie is now the most used sex position for married couples, the man begs for it and the woman rolls over and plays dead.
Premature ejaculator seeking fit woman for no frills fun, must have full lips, large breasts, long legs, pert backside.....
Oh God...
Never mind.
Oh God...
Never mind.
Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years. A few days before the group's departure
date, John's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. John's fishing buddies are very upset that he
can't go, but what can they do. Three days later the three get into the camping site to find john sitting there
with his tent set up, firewood gathered and dinner cooking on the fire, drinking a cold beer. "Heck John, how
long have you been here, and how did you get your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my recliner when my wife came up
behind me, put her hands over my eyes, and asked, "Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was,
wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, where she'd lit candles and put rose
petals all over the place. Well, she's been reading "50 Shades of Grey"...
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do what ever you want."
So, boys, here I am.
date, John's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. John's fishing buddies are very upset that he
can't go, but what can they do. Three days later the three get into the camping site to find john sitting there
with his tent set up, firewood gathered and dinner cooking on the fire, drinking a cold beer. "Heck John, how
long have you been here, and how did you get your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my recliner when my wife came up
behind me, put her hands over my eyes, and asked, "Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was,
wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, where she'd lit candles and put rose
petals all over the place. Well, she's been reading "50 Shades of Grey"...
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do what ever you want."
So, boys, here I am.
When going for a walk in the woods at night with your girlfriend/wife and she says she is scared the incorrect reply is not " Why are you scared, I am the one who has to walk out alone ".
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