Money up front, or at the end?
- Thread starter Peterpants
- Start date
I have absolutely no idea what point you were trying to make, sorry. Can you explain please?
If I know the envelope is there, in sight, it's okay.(for me personally)
the only issue is I know I might forget because I like to immerse myself in the energy that is created between me and my client. it's distracting and sometimes intense, in a positive way. that's why i like to get it over with..if it's forgotten it's a hassle for everyone involved
the only issue is I know I might forget because I like to immerse myself in the energy that is created between me and my client. it's distracting and sometimes intense, in a positive way. that's why i like to get it over with..if it's forgotten it's a hassle for everyone involved
I always choose my service provider carefully. If I'm not comfortable paying upfront, it's because I'm simply not comfortable with her. An envelope, well seen, confidence on both sides which allows us to focus on what is really important.
I agree that it's about comfort, but not about comfort for both sides, necessarily. You have a number of women here who are saying to you that they feel uncomfortable with not getting the cash because they fear clients will run out on them or short change, and probably most of them have some kind of story about men who have done just that. Having the cash up front mitigates that issue for them. The perspective here is about making the ladies comfortable, which is fine as far as it goes. On the flip side by paying the cash up front the risk has shifted from the lady to the guy. Now the guy is potentially on the hook for being short changed in either services or time as well. Every guy who mongers has some story about a girl who promised something and didn't deliver, or who ran out of the room as soon as they guy popped, 11 minutes into the session or some such. The point is that one party is going to be less comfortable than the other, in a general sort of sense, which may not be in any severe kind of way but is there. The question is simply deciding who that is going to be. The guy has control over the cash initially and he gets to decide whether he wants to relinquish control of it or not. People can make that choice individually based on their personalities and preferences.
I choose to retain control over the financial aspect of the session because I know my own honesty and fairness going into the encounter, but I don't necessarily know about the lady in question. I make the cash visible and then make sure that I'm paying for the services I requested. I'm NOT paying for quality. That's at my own risk. As long as the service promised is delivered then it all gets paid with no complaint on my part (although there may be some regret if the service sucks). That's just the way it goes if it doesn't work out well. I just wouldn't book with that lady again.
I fond there's a tendency to want to make the ladies of the board here happy by parroting what they say and making lots of noises of agreement around issues like this. I honestly don't have a real problem with that around this issue, and am likely to agree that we are dealing with people that we "know", who have a certain reputation, and who are very likely not to want to have that reputation tarnished on this board, so that's probably fine. What people seem to forget though, is that on relatively broad issues like this we can't really look through the lens of the half dozen or so ladies who post regularly on this board and pretend that they are representative of the greater SP community out there. They're not. They present a viewpoint that we may want to treat as being a guideline for the treatment of everyone, including the ruthless, predatory, mercenary, and dishonest providers out there, and we all know there's lots. It' probably reasonable for the girls here. It's probably not elsewhere. There's a level of comfort and trust associated with the people that are here that I simply can't see extending to the far, far larger population of working SPs that are in the rest of the world. That may very well be a great reason for booking the girls here. It's not, however, a good reason for me to extend that same trust out to every other mercenary girl out there. So, cynical and experienced guy that I am I'll hang ono control of the cash, thank you very much, and very happily pay at the end of the session. Maybe even a tip. Stranger things have happened.
SP POV:
- I’ve been burned before; clients who didn’t have the full donation at the end, or worse, canceled the transfer after the session. Obviously, those guys never came back ( I learned my lesson real quick).
- Today, I always ask new clients for the donation upfront and count it to make sure everything’s there because of those past experiences. For regulars or repeat clients, there’s more flexibility; some prefer giving it before, others after, since we’ve built trust and no one feels shortchanged I don’t care when it’s given to me.
- Personally, I do prefer it upfront. Waiting until the end feels too transactional and can kill the vibe, even if the session was great.
Honestly, I’ve even had clients - including myself - forget about the donation altogether because we were having too much fun and it didn’t feel like work. A couple had to come back just to hand me the money
Client POV:
- If you found her on LL and haven’t read any reviews, donation at the end makes total sense. (Honestly, I’d feel the same if I were in your shoes).
- If you found her on MERB and feel comfortable giving it upfront, go for it.
That being said, this is exactly why I ask for a one-time partial deposit: it shows me the client is serious. Even if he prefers to give the rest after the session, the deposit alone makes me feel 99% confident he’s legit and will follow through. Makes hosting a lot less stressful on my end.
Because yes, us SPs get scammed and no-showed too. But the game does change when a SP advertises on platforms beyond the “fast food” ones - typically, the clientele is a bit more refined and respectful (but I’ve had complete jerks and ayholes from both MERB and TERB lmao) so really you can’t know.
- I’ve been burned before; clients who didn’t have the full donation at the end, or worse, canceled the transfer after the session. Obviously, those guys never came back ( I learned my lesson real quick).
- Today, I always ask new clients for the donation upfront and count it to make sure everything’s there because of those past experiences. For regulars or repeat clients, there’s more flexibility; some prefer giving it before, others after, since we’ve built trust and no one feels shortchanged I don’t care when it’s given to me.
- Personally, I do prefer it upfront. Waiting until the end feels too transactional and can kill the vibe, even if the session was great.
Honestly, I’ve even had clients - including myself - forget about the donation altogether because we were having too much fun and it didn’t feel like work. A couple had to come back just to hand me the money
Client POV:
- If you found her on LL and haven’t read any reviews, donation at the end makes total sense. (Honestly, I’d feel the same if I were in your shoes).
- If you found her on MERB and feel comfortable giving it upfront, go for it.
That being said, this is exactly why I ask for a one-time partial deposit: it shows me the client is serious. Even if he prefers to give the rest after the session, the deposit alone makes me feel 99% confident he’s legit and will follow through. Makes hosting a lot less stressful on my end.
Because yes, us SPs get scammed and no-showed too. But the game does change when a SP advertises on platforms beyond the “fast food” ones - typically, the clientele is a bit more refined and respectful (but I’ve had complete jerks and ayholes from both MERB and TERB lmao) so really you can’t know.
What you might see as parroting I see as basic human decency but everyone has their own opinion on what that means. I’m not jaded by bad experiences (yet) and have not been burned/regretted a session to a degree that would necessitate me holding the cash hostage. It wild to think of someone withholding payment bc an sp didn’t fulfill some acronym or sexual act. I’ll swear off sps altogether before I get to that point.
For incall I have usually paid upfront. Not sure why but I guess because if I didi not have any cash what could the lady do? not much
for Outcall, I only pay at the end, I dont offer up front and I dont believe have had any women ask for it upfront. But here the tables are
reversed, since the outcall is at my private residence, the lady could make a huge stink if I didnt pay etc.
the ONE THING I will never do is give a deposit in advance. From my point of veiw, a fools folly. Nothing what so ever stops the lady from just not showing up
or changing the time or etc. I know some one will say but if she is a well know MERB person, then its likely ok. Well the reverse of that would then also be true,
If the guy is well known on MERB then he should also be OK not to expect a deposit from. The other reason of course is I dont want electronic transfers visible to
a provider. Just my opinion
for Outcall, I only pay at the end, I dont offer up front and I dont believe have had any women ask for it upfront. But here the tables are
reversed, since the outcall is at my private residence, the lady could make a huge stink if I didnt pay etc.
the ONE THING I will never do is give a deposit in advance. From my point of veiw, a fools folly. Nothing what so ever stops the lady from just not showing up
or changing the time or etc. I know some one will say but if she is a well know MERB person, then its likely ok. Well the reverse of that would then also be true,
If the guy is well known on MERB then he should also be OK not to expect a deposit from. The other reason of course is I dont want electronic transfers visible to
a provider. Just my opinion
In your rush to jump to a conclusion and fervently declare your decency you jumped over the point completely, and you missed it, even after Valentina just finished re-articulating parts of it for you. I will say though, that I don't feel that my integrity, decency and morals are compromised by virtue of whether I pay the lady in full at the beginning or at the end of the session, and no one has ever maligned my basic decency as far as I know.
What I did say is that we have a tendency to talk to the ladies on this board, with their preferences and their rules and standards, and the guys tend to want to apply those same standards to the rest of the mongering world, even though the local ladies are not representatve of that world (hence the parroting). Don't worry, I wasn't talking about your simping tendencies, or anything of the sort, nor was I insulting the ladies and their practices..I was simply referring to people's tendencies to want to follow simple rules along the easiest path, whether it's appropriate or not.
I don't even know where to begin with the "hostage cash" idea without being mean about it, so I'm just going to let that one go for now.
Fellas. Just pay in quarters… you’ll get more time out of her while she picks it up and counts it from the floor.
Damn. I never thought that my short post would trigger such long reactions! I will be more specific in the next ones. Newbie mistake… ☠️
Welcome to MERB bro. You’ll trigger everyone and their grandma
The only part she wasn't in agreement with was with randos on LL (which I've made clear I haven't tried), and that she understands that perspective from the client side but she prefers it up front, as will every provider (whether they require it upfront or not). Call it simping or whatever you like, I give zero fucks about anyone's opinion on any online forum and actually, just being on this board should be enough for most sps to second guess seeing anyone here IRL, if we're being completely honest. I'd rather be what I think is decent and called a white knight etc than whatever the opposite of that is. Again, if I had to compromise that in order to potentially save a few bucks from a 'mercenary' (who hurt you.. lol) then I probably would just get out of this altogether.
We're gonna be on either side of this, obv, so I'm not looking to change your (or anyone elses) opinion but the only thing I actually want to know is: What would you withhold the money from an sp for? If they said XYZ and you only got XY would you retain a percentage? How much time off your alloted session would be enough to take back money? I geniunely want to know bc the idea is crazy to me.
Nah, it's a great question actually, and important. You're getting varied responses too so it's all good. Decide what you want to do in the end.
I tend to agree with you, but again it all comes down to perception and personal preference. From the ladies standpoint there's lots of timewaster out there and there'd be 1000% more if they didn't take deposits. I suspect that that there's probably even guys who send deposits that don't show up. Maybe the ladies could chime in there. I'd be curious to know how often it happens. A deposit helps them weed out the guys who don't have skin in the game, if you'll pardon the expression. lol
Of course, from the guys standpoint sending deposits is like flushing money down the toilet. There will absolutely without question be women who will take and keep your deposit without consideration and with the flimsiest of excuses, never to be seen again. It's not a question of if, but when.
So, good reasons on both sides and again it all comes down to comfort. Once again for me I'm the guardian of my own morals and I know I will be honest and communicate well, but as I do not also know the same about potential companion I choose to prioritize my own security and comfort and I don't pay deposits. I don't fault the ladies for wanting them though, I'm just not going to pay them.
This is really all about trust and who you are dealing with.
Someone on LL I would never pay upfront but then again I would never see someone on LL.
I don’t use agencies or MP either but I guess If I did visit one that advertises on Merb I would abide by their wishes, a one time loss would not put me in a different tax bracket , but then I would certainly change tactics.
There are ladies I would be willing to pay a years worth in advance if they needed it and others nothing until the end.
At first I would take my wallet and clothes into the bathroom for the shower and never let it out of my sight during a session today with the ladies I am seeing I trust them 100% and I doubt they are concerned at all about payment , but yes I do it up front just to make sure I don’t forget.
Someone on LL I would never pay upfront but then again I would never see someone on LL.
I don’t use agencies or MP either but I guess If I did visit one that advertises on Merb I would abide by their wishes, a one time loss would not put me in a different tax bracket , but then I would certainly change tactics.
There are ladies I would be willing to pay a years worth in advance if they needed it and others nothing until the end.
At first I would take my wallet and clothes into the bathroom for the shower and never let it out of my sight during a session today with the ladies I am seeing I trust them 100% and I doubt they are concerned at all about payment , but yes I do it up front just to make sure I don’t forget.
since I mostly use Agency girls, some of the outcall risk is mediated. I use the same Agency as much as I can and thus, I become a somewhat known quantity>
We all have our reasoning and opinions and what is good for. me may not be good for a lady or another gentleman. thats ok. Some like blonds, some like brunettes
tor
We all have our reasoning and opinions and what is good for. me may not be good for a lady or another gentleman. thats ok. Some like blonds, some like brunettes
tor
Once again, that's not what I said, and I don't know why you insist on misintepreting what I do say. You're in such a rush to be judgmental all the time that I'm not sure you're actually reading stuff before you respond. I specifically said that I was not talking about you simping or attacking ladies practices. that's pretty clear, I think.
As for "witholding cash" presumably when you been around a bit longer you'll see examples of it. There's lot's of reasons, ranging from not providing extras that have been paid for to getting the "emergency phone call" and variants leading to an early exit, to immediately being abandoned after a pop no matter how much time you've paid for, to being spaced way the fuck out on drugs or drunk or sick and unable to provide services and the list goes on and on and on. There's dozens, maybe hundreds of reasons, some more serious than others. Some are just routine scams to fool newbies. You'll see a bunch of them over time, I promise. How you choose to respond is up to you.
I understand why there's a fear of paying upfront when a situation seems sketchy, a lot of clients here have said that they were robbed, but there are solutions to prevent this from happening. For one, avoiding situations that seem sketchy. I have been a provider who only advertised on leolist and had no reviews.. I did ask for the money upfront but it was also clear that nobody else was there but me, the bed was in sight for the client and I left the money on my desk until they left to make sure they felt safe.
And we're kinda circling back to the issue which is affecting both clients and providers that there are a lot of scammers and thieves on certain platfoms.. But there are tools at client's disposal to find out if a provider is legit or not, like this website. I feel like there are also cues and red flags on the ads themselves.. Like situations that seem too good to be true, etc. If you don't want to take risk you can choose to see reviewed providers, providers who have a strong social media presence, go to reputable MP's and hire girls from agencies. You won't run into that problem. If you arrive and get a bad vibe, you can also leave and choose not to pay.
At the end of the day we all do everything differently. It's fine if some providers choose to get paid at the end and it's fine if some providers want to be paid upfront. Just like it's fine to ask for a deposit, and it's fine not to ask for one. In over 3 years of being a SP only 1 client told me he refused to pay upfront, and one client made a fuss about it (so I didn't ask him to pay upfront the 2nd time I saw him, cause I already knew him, problem solved) We all have our ways of staying safe as SP and it's all okay. Obviously trust is important but you can't trust someone you just had one conversation over text with once. Trust is acquired.
And we're kinda circling back to the issue which is affecting both clients and providers that there are a lot of scammers and thieves on certain platfoms.. But there are tools at client's disposal to find out if a provider is legit or not, like this website. I feel like there are also cues and red flags on the ads themselves.. Like situations that seem too good to be true, etc. If you don't want to take risk you can choose to see reviewed providers, providers who have a strong social media presence, go to reputable MP's and hire girls from agencies. You won't run into that problem. If you arrive and get a bad vibe, you can also leave and choose not to pay.
At the end of the day we all do everything differently. It's fine if some providers choose to get paid at the end and it's fine if some providers want to be paid upfront. Just like it's fine to ask for a deposit, and it's fine not to ask for one. In over 3 years of being a SP only 1 client told me he refused to pay upfront, and one client made a fuss about it (so I didn't ask him to pay upfront the 2nd time I saw him, cause I already knew him, problem solved) We all have our ways of staying safe as SP and it's all okay. Obviously trust is important but you can't trust someone you just had one conversation over text with once. Trust is acquired.
You've been burned a bunch of times, it sounds like, and that sucks but I guess I would be really surprised to find myself in any of the situations you're describing. There's an inherent risk to all of this, so if it did happen I would probably just take my licks, chalk up a loss, and make a more informed decision moving forward, if possible. If it happened over and over I'd really just have to reevaluate this whole lifestyle. I must be on an insane win streak or blessed by the gods of 'mongering' I guess.
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