Joke Thread

[sene5hos]

Santa Claus, I would like her to give me my Christmas present.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

I could post this in many threads but preferred to use this one.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

 

[neverbored]

 

[neverbored]

How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?

Spoiler

She starts to fit your wife's clothes.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Many can relate

 

[Nutsinho]

The guys from the covid threads had a get together to watch Adolf Legault's press conference

 

[neverbored]

I think someone dropped something

 

[Jude75]

Je pense que quelqu'un a laissé tomber quelque chose

View attachment 20321

HA Nonnnnn:Oups:

 

[neverbored]

I proposed to my ex-wife today

Spoiler

she said no, she thinks I'm just after my money

 

[maximus.dickus]

Every evening my 87 yr old neighbor knocks on my door, says he has not seen his wife all day, don't know what to say but try to explain that she died 2 years ago.
Now normally I would sit him down and have a long talk to get him to understand his wife has died and stop coming over but the smile on his face when he leaves is priceless.

Anthony Jeselnik rip off

 

[neverbored]

 

[neverbored]

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He then takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..... he said with a deep sigh" ............

Spoiler: Click for punch

Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box

 

[CaptRenault]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1517707521343082496

 

[Julia Sky]

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.

She got mad and said she is never playing scrabble with me again.

 

[cloudsurf]

I went to Hollywood hoping to see stars. Never saw any because the skies were cloudy at night.