Hi Danny, I was reading the thread with interest and I wanted to chime in a little bit.
It's easy to think you have been dealt some bad cards but in no way should you think you don't have the winning hand. You most likely do. I am basing my thinking on my past experiences (I am 48) and there are a couple of points to consider:
Doesn't matter what the size is, with intercourse, women achieve orgasm by clitoral stimulation, and if you're aiming for the G-Spot, it's only 2-3 centimeters inside. No man needs 6 inches or more to get it done. You don't even need 3. It's mostly a matter of positioning. I find the captain position works really good or the shoulder fold. Also, placing pillows under her butt to raise her pelvis and change the angle will really work awesome. However, keep in mind, with some women, it doesn't matter, any size or position won't work. It's not in the cards.
That being said, really pleasing a woman happens mostly between the ears. When you figure that part out, size really doesn't matter anymore. Most men don't realize that a woman's pleasure is more emotional or are too lazy to learn it. It needs to be built up, gradual. However, this will feel more real with a civilian than with a service provider.
Certain perspectives from my past: When I was younger, I had a girlfriend that I couldn't get to orgasm by intercourse after a year of trying. So, even with the right tools (in this case penis), sometimes you won't get the job done. She was beautiful, very sexy, all I wanted to do was please her. Gradually I wasn't feeling sexually competent until I learned not to rely on intercourse. I needed more tools (skills).
When I learned to do cunnilingus properly. Preceded by a relaxing massage, the right amount of whispers how much I wanted to please her. Kissing her neck and ears, and making her understand I was having a great time pleasing her and all I wanted was to taste her as she was comming. At the end, she was having orgasms so intense that she couldn't even have regular intercourse. She was too exhausted. Did I use my penis? None. We're not together anymore, but the odds that she managed to get the same experience are probably pretty low (at least that's what I tell myself). Personally, I way prefer pleasing a woman orally. I feel more competent sexually that way.
Another example: Years later, I was with another woman (civilian) Even though it was great intercourse sex, after a couple of months, she complained (she had never asked before) that I never pleased her with my fingers. It wasn't part of my skills or routine back then. Wasn't good at it. Left me of course. I really felt it was because I didn't satisfy her enough.
I said to myself never again. I read some books on techniques (try Miss Lira Oral Sex & Foreplay which is really good). Made sure I had this well done with my new partners. Now, I feel I can provide far more pleasure by my hands than with my penis. No shame in it.
I booked an SP a couple months back (I usually only want BBBJ). She asked to do intercourse. I told her I probably wouldn't perform any good with protected sex. I now have a hard time keeping a good erection with a condom. You see, my normal penis isn't even that good anymore. I offered her to try with my hands. About 10-15 minutes later, the entire bed was soaked solid, and I could really tell the orgasm wasn't faked at all and was really intense. I booked half an hour (I'm poor, can only spend the minimum) and spent it on her. Afterwards, I didn't feel the blowjob was because I paid, it felt more like it was a reward for what I did to her. The session lasted way longer than the half an hour I paid for. I am not kidding.
So put in perspective, if you focus on one aspect as a sign of failure, you will miss out that you have what it takes to achieve greater success using other means. Work on that mindset. Never give up. Next time you get into bed, think the woman you're with is going to have something no one else but you can give her.
That also passes by where you live your life. If you can't dance don't approach women on a dance floor. Find places where you shine and where women have similar interests. If you do things reasonably well, the worst thing that can happen is a woman says no thank you to your advances.
