The thing is that one of the major criticism of agencies is that they do not actually properly screen clients for the safety and comfort of workers, and what is acceptable is defined by them and not by the workers themselves. I understand why, because it's a business, but when it comes to giving the workers an optimal experience, it's not ideal. I know that women who work for agencies can blacklist a client, and that's great, but maybe a bad experience could have been prevented.. and maybe that client shouldn't keep seeing other girls at the agency. If I was an agency or MP owner, if a girl had a bad experience, I wouldn't be thinking ''oh maybe someone else can handle him''. I know technically, that could be the truth.. but I don't want my employees to be uncomfortable, so I would just ban him altogether, or I would warn the girls about him and ask them what they think and if they think they can see him, depending on how bad what happened was.
In all my time at XO, I had only 2 experiences where a client was forceful/ignorant of my personhood to the point that I would call it assault of some kind, and the worse one was perfectly normal except for the moment I realized he had stealthed me. I showed him the proof in my hand and he seemed more uncomfortable that I had noticed than anything else. I asked if he had any way to compensate me for what he had done and he looked at me kind of uselessly, and quickly left. I let them know right away what had happened, and I never saw that client again, he was blacklisted. The security contact I had for that time was extremely attentive... whenever there was any issue, I was asked what I wanted to do. At that time I believe I requested an hour to recuperate but that I wanted to finish my day.
Before this, when I worked for xxxtase, an outcall agency (at that time at least), I was often dropped off with no information about the client, and even told things like "this guy will try to stealth you, but he will leave a great review-- try to please him". The driver I met when I had initiated contact with them creeped me out, and I later learned that that driver regularly assaulted several of the workers. From the start, the owner targeted me with attempted grooming-- I was 20 at this time iirc-- he wanted me to move in with him, and he was telling me all the typical lovebomber shit. Eventually he was the one driving me everywhere, and insisted to drop me off at my home address EOD. I gave him an address a block away, and when he parked the car, he would not unlock the doors. He coerced me mentally and physically in that car, refusing to take no for an answer, and I left with an STD. When I messaged him the following week, he said it was impossible for him to have given it to me because he is "immune", and additionally that because I was infected, I could no longer work, ever again... not at that agency or anywhere else in the industry... and he then gave me the option of living with him instead. Of course, I was treated at a clinic and did not return to work for that agency ever again. I ended up reaching out to several girls to warn them, and got those stories of the drivers I mentioned in return. I was collecting testimony for some time, knowing that the way they were operating was predatory, but the agency changed hands and I lost track of that owner. I checked up on this a few times and heard that things had changed for the better, so I let it be.
I kept in contact with some clients I had met through xxxtase, and the one that I took up a regular thing with eventually violently assaulted me after about a year of weird and coercive behaviour that I put up with, because my priority was supporting myself. He had also set me up with a job before this that was supposed to be legitimate, but when I got there I realized I was not being paid normally despite making a normal application, and that essentially if he were not at work to demand sexual favors, I had no hours. He also withheld my legitimately earned pay by demanding video calls before deposit (obviously, these were sexual in nature). Coercion and manipulation all the way down, his life was built on it! Luckily he was not in the office much, and I got to witness that his entire staff hated him and would joke about his negative qualities almost every time he left the room. An intern (through some schooling program) I made friends with there told me in confidence that she had uncovered a lot of shady stuff about how he was managing his money-- shell companies with fake employee photos, legal documents about tax fraud and moving money across borders, etc. That was a violent **** rape in which I clearly and consistenty made my lack of consent extremely clear, and was physically unable to move myself under the weight of his body. He injured me to the point that I could not work normally, and I was so messed up about it that I just took the first legal job I could without immediately seeking treatment, to my own detriment. I was isolated at that time and had few options, and the options for support in this industry are difficut to navigate. The ones that are easy to access seem to be anti-sw and push for exit, which I did not want or want to deal with. To this day that loser rapist hated by all his staff and, before my eyes, every woman he attempted to start a relationship with while he was still seeing me, still sends me texts on holidays, random good morning texts, along with randomly pleading for me to respond, etc..
I have always approached this industry with the mindset that I am a worker first and foremost, and that the agencies are organizations which I am hiring to manage the scheduling and admin work I have no interest in doing myself.
Every agency is different, and so too is every worker and client. Each encounter is nuanced by several factors...
- The agency's style of customer service (priority of workers versus clientelle), further mediated by industry standards and which booker you are working with on a given day.
- The worker's perspective, experience, boundaries and ability to communicate such, along with their judgement (aka essentially their threshold for when behaviour of others is recieved as rude, coercive, or outright abusive and unacceptable.)
- The client's perspective, experience, desires and ability to communicate such properly, along with their judgement of their own behaviour. This one is more difficult to sum up for me personally, but communication is a big problem with this group in general. Maybe the main thing is that this group contains some % of people who hold meeting their expectations at a higher level of importance than do they themselves take responsibility to get those expectations met.
Bad clients often get in their own way, and I have had many appointments where the interaction was clearly becoming hostile, where I had to use de-escalation skills to regulate them into being able to actually communicate with me, without seeing my personhood as an obstacle to sex, and while being mindful of the toxic masculinity shit that comes attached to those expectations, and I always tried to do so professionally, because this is a job I am doing in my workplace. Unfortunately some clients carry resentment around the financial aspect, and this resentment can easily come out when expectations are not met. Despite this, I actually have less stories of assault and sexual coercion in the workplace than do my friends who work in other industries, getting paid minimum wage.
IMO:
Yes, there are people in this industry who target girls for predation. I experienced that firsthand, and these people are a huge problem. That is a fact.
Yes, many people enter this industry without the requisite skills or contextual understanding to navigate it, and this is a huge problem. That is a fact.
Yes, abuse occurs regularly in this industry (and literally every other industry), and the rate of abuse is a huge problem. That is a fact.
However, the way that this story is being told is unfair to the very people that it is claiming to want to protect. It is clear that they want to outlaw the industry entirely, and if that end is not reached (which, come on...) they will push for legalization*. All of this without regard to current workers as more than pawns in their political play, as the people routinely given a voice are those who have exited citing trauma. It's more politically advantageous that way.
Incall agencies are not more or less abusive than outcall, and with regard to my personal experience, I dislike and avoid outcall, as that is where I had the most negative experiences. I did not see either of the organizations that I personally trust to engage with sex workers as human beings with our own autonomy mentioned in any of the stories that have come out so far, and the narrative here is more than obvious.
La Presse said it themselves: "Prostitution has for several years left the street to migrate to the internet..."
They then list exit resources.
*I could go on about this, but my comment is too long already (sorry... I think I got off topic, but I don't want to engage in the discussion here very much, so it is probably my only input). TLDR: the same abuse occurs, in nearly the same exact form under legalization, except the govenment has a guaranteed cut of the profits, and "pimps" are legitimized and given power... NOT the workers, and not the people who are vulnerable. I had a friend work at a ranch in Nevada, and they had to pay rent. The owner knowingly hired too many girls for the client ratio, indebting anyone who was not able to get outside help. This ranch was isolated along a highway and bordered by mountains. They had a girl there who could not even speak English, and could not leave. We helped that girl get in contact with someone who could help her, and my friend was told to leave in the next day or two. I assume the owner monitored internet activity as the ISP owner and saw our online conversations in that instance. Again,
the same abuse occurs, in nearly the same exact form under legalization, except the govenment has a guaranteed cut of the profits, and "pimps" are legitimized and given power... NOT the workers, and not the people who are vulnerable.
We want DECRIMINALIZATION.
