really goodbye, but just a few things
This will be the last time I post. Ironic that I would discover this thread today.
This response isn’t about telling anyone off. I’m not surprised by who posted what about me and there’s really no point in responding to the very few holier-than-thou types. I already got pissed off once this week (poor joeblow, but your off the hook now) and that’s plenty enough in a year for me.
I want to tell you guys a little bit about what it’s like. A sort of reality check, not meant pejoratively. Most of you will never understand the complexities of SPs because you’ve never worked as one. Just like you guys have complex reasons for being here, so do we. It’s not a melting pot, we’re all different.
I really came on board for the reasons I describes a few months ago. I really left for the reasons I described more recently. There was never a plan to make quick cash and run. In fact, I took a two year cell plan and a two year web-site, which I am now left to pay. Obviously I was seeing a little more long term than what ended up happening. At first I thought I’d be here a few months, then that changed to maybe a year (as I met the nicest people in my SP career) though I never posted that change of plans here. Then, out of the blue I decided I couldn’t do this anymore. The reasons for that are not important; refer back to the paragraph above on “complexity”.
I have known this industry, on and off, over the last 11 years (and if any of you remember my age you’ll see why I was so outspoken about underage prostitution). When I posted on this board, I always had this idea that I could somehow change people’s perception. I think (I hope) I did in some cases. In the end, it all comes back down to people being really complex and the difficulties of putting everyone in the same boat. It’s important to always keep that in mind.
Some things I’d like to leave you with:
Really consider what draws some of you to the youngest escorts. Think that by creating a demand for these services, you’re potentially creating a spot for your own daughter to land when she goes through her (commonly referred to by parents as) teenage rebellion. Think about how come it is that there are still minors in this industry, in this country, that has a code of law that proscribes it. Think of it as an important societal question we will have to address sooner or later. Be wary of agents that tell you they have a newbie and she’s barely 18. You’d be surprised to see how many actually aren’t 18. In a day in age where children are becoming more and more sexualized (clothe, make-up, concerns with appearance at younger and younger ages) it wouldn’t be a far stretch to think more minors would enter this business in ten years when those kids turn into teens. Just like parents are participating in the sexualization of their children by allowing them to wear what they want (the argument that “I just couldn’t say no” is so lame, what ever happened to parental authority), clients in a way are also participating to the creation of a demand for minors. Think about it. Some people are making lots of money off of it, and as a society we should be concerned about that.
Stop making assumptions about SPs. Stop reaching conclusions on their character based on reviews and comments on this board. Wonder if you’d like it if SPs started doing the same. Write stuff you wouldn’t mind people writing about you if you were the SP. We are all here for different reasons. Don’t assume unless you have something to back your argument.
Stop comparing the sex trade to the car industry. It’s just not the same thing, no matter how detailed and analytical or witty the comparison. Women are not like cars, period. Analogies with common commodities are simply distasteful and transform women into products. Refer to “complexity” again to remember these women are individuals, not pre-packaged concepts that function for your service without choice or free will.
Share your experiences/thoughts. Continue to be courteous as you have been with me to other SPs on this board. Over the last years I've seen a marked improvement in client perception of SPs (less negative, less “whore”). I think more open dialogue between both sides has something to do with it.
When you post details about what an SP did for/to you, think that about 1000 other guys are going to read what you write an expect the same thing you got. I personally know people who left this business because client expectations became impossible to manage. Posting about sodomy, no protection for bj, passionate kissing, and the like, are things that are usually (or ideally) decided by an SP on an individual basis. I know there are many girls that do actually offer menu-like options, but that’s most often because they perceive or are told by their agents that they have no choice. That doesn't have to be. You’re concerned about your health, be concerned for the health of the SP you’re seeing. Try putting yourself in our shoes and wonder if the concept of choice is important to you. Ordering an SP like you order from a menu is dehumanizing. It’s back to the car analogy where similar products should all offer similar services. Normal human relationships just don’t work like that. Each of us (client, escort) is different; each of us need to be understood in our individuality to be able to thrive as individuals.
If an SP quits the business I think it's entirely her right to ask for her reviews to be deleted. It's a personal decision, and Mods, by judging each case individually are acting with ethics, which is the most important to me as I've tried to convey over the last few month. Ethics are things that allow you to understand others as you understand yourself, that's why we need to have more of them. There might be girls that use sweet-talk with Mods as a ploy to get rid of bad reviews, but that's just a cost of having a board that discusses such subjects. There are plenty of other costs to these boards, like constant shilling from agencies or bogus negative reviews from people with agendas. Just because some people have bad motives, doesn't mean all should be considered this way. As many of you said, this is a review board. There is no need for reviews of an SP now out of the business. I suspect that those who respect us most, would agree most with this statement. Also, I entirely agree that if an SP doesn't want to be reviewed her choice should be respected. It's HER choice, not yours. A person with ethics respects that. Again, some will say this to avoid bad reviews, but when you think about it its just another small cost in an already hit-and-miss business. It will always be hit-and-miss no matter how many reviews.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable seeking services in this industry, don’t shut those feelings out. Chances are if you’re feeling uncomfortable it’s because you’re replacing something you need, that’s totally unrelated to sex, with an SP. I know many of you ask yourselves questions about why you are here. Wonder a little more. If you're concerned, wonder about it out loud on this board perhaps... It’s incredible how many people here have great advice to give. Boards like this excel in the department of giving advice, from STD concerns to which hotel/restaurant to pick. I do believe it’s totally possible to be a healthy person in this activity (for both SP and client). I don’t think all of you have hidden psychological motives, not even the majority. I do know many of you are concerned however. Act upon those concerns and don’t keep them to yourself. We're all anonymous here, and many of us are apparantly quite keen on using our brains collectively.
Don’t loose track of the larger picture and fall in the cracks of commodity-thinking.
Ethics.
Ladies: never settle for less than you value. In an ideal world, there would be only independents that manage their own time and who they see. If you’re considering entering this business, come on a board like this one and ask questions. There are many SPs that can guide you through this decision as has been done with me in the past. There are always other options, but this one is not necessarily a “bad” one. I guess it sort of depends on the baggage you have, and you should be thinking about that baggage before you take the plunge. Sometimes we think money is the main issue when lack of self-confidence is really the trigger. Sometimes it may be something else. Each is different. The only way this work can be done in a healthy way is to not loose track of your own values and sense of ethics toward yourself. Back to the first sentence in this paragraph. If you don’t compare your work to a commodity or a menu-service people will sense that. You will attract likeminded clients and everyone will be happy.
Take care all. I really truly enjoyed my time here. I discovered many things about myself I might not otherwise have realised without this last experience. I do not have regrets. The people I met here were great individuals, some of you truly outstanding (special hugs to you). My own perceptions about clients changed this last time. I see you much less like service-seekers and more like complex individuals. I think that’s a good thing.
Jag
AKA Chloë
</really out>
