do you have more examples of recurrent "annoyances"? obviously not abuse or violence or stalking or anything that will put you on a black list. but things you disliked to a point of "I don't want to see him again", but without crossing the black list level
Ask us anything part 3
- Thread starter LC18
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When clients ask more and more questions and ask « why, why, why » about my dislikes and boundaries.
Here is my personal list.. Keep in mind that I tend to give people many chances and I like to have an open dialogue with clients in order to have a good experience
These are pet peeves and things that may lead to a conversation or not wanting to see someone again
-When I can tell someone is becoming obsessed with me and developing feelings and expectations that shouldn't exist.. It doesn't lead to good situations at all. One sign of this is when somebody seems to be ''doing too much'' and the generosity doesn't feel genuine, and when it seems like the person is going beyond his own budget.. I fear that it will lead to resentment. Keep in mind I have pretty good intuition and I can tell when someone is just being kind and loving towards me as opposed to another involuntarily trying to manipulate.. Sometimes that will involve things that go beyond my boundaries and drain my energy. My biggest issue with this is that it could lead to resentment
-Very connected to my first concern, when someone asks for discounts, tries to customize sessions to pay the least possible, or pushes for free time.. I can say the same thing about someone who is expecting conversations between bookings and constant interactions.. To be fair when I get along with a client I may feel compelled to interact with him a lot outside of bookings if he tries to reach me ma lot, but I often end up feeling like I hit a wall.. Sometimes guys ask for more just because they're cheap and not because they're obsessed, and it's often accompanied with an overall disrespectful attitude
-Things that make me feel like confidentiality is breached. For instance, when a client tells me personal info about other providers, when he talks about his experiences with colleagues, or makes comments about them.. Particularly negative comments. If he is gossiping to me about others, he will do the same to me. I also feel uncomfortable when clients will post anecdotes about me or repeat things I said to him without naming me. It makes me really uncomfortable. I see a lot of clients do this here and it can lead to gossip.. honestly being overly present on the boards isn't a deal breaker necessarily, but in some contexts it can feel awkward. Like this isn't a spectacle..
-When clients don't seem mindful of my physical comfort during intimacy. If I am in pain during bookings or I end up in pain at the end of a booking, I will dread seeing him again, or just might not. I don't want to address this on my own review thread but someone left a vague negative comment about me recently.. I found out who it is and I remember the intimacy was very rough and unpleasant and I just felt like an object. This is something that happens very rarely nowadays. Sometimes clients don't mean harm but they are clumsy and rough, and I don't think it's that hard to learn to be a bit more delicate.. Another issue is boundary pushing. A lot of clients think all providers will tolerate the same, but it's not the case.. and I think it's up to the client to pick the right provider for his needs
-A client just generally having a cold, judgemental or negative attitude.. I've had clients come in and offer 0 politeness, just make weird passive aggressive remarks, pass judgements on how I work etc. This is once again very rare, but after 2 times I usually don't want to see him anymore.
-Somebody being late frequently and wanting the extra time or somebody always taking a really really long time to leave. I told a client I had an issue with how he took extra time from me really often, in a very gentle way.. he stopped booking me after that. I think that says a lot
-When someone asks very very frequently, in an impolite manner like ''hey u free??'' ''avail?'' for super last minute bookings, or texts me frequently late at night..
These are pretty much the issues I commonly have to deal with, a lot more than straight up abusive behavior, even if it can be hard to define what counts as abusive sometimes
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Yeah, it doesn't happen as much anymore but I do not like it when I am asked those questions in person, I don't feel like explaining myself
Inability to read into context clues and hints lol. Like, for example there's 3mins left to the appointment and I ask if he wants a shower and the client says "yes I'll go in a bit" but then proceeds to stay in the bed another 15min so you have to offer a shower again which is awkward.
Or the appointment is over, client took his shower, got dressed and is ready to leave, but he already over stayed by 15mins and won't stop talking despite the provider's responses being shorter and shorter, the fact that she keeps moving closer and closer to the door or even is holding the door handle by this point. Lol
To be clear, I'm not a clock watcher and don't mind if a few minutes go by because we're genuinely lost in conversation or whatever, but I'm speaking of clients who find new random subjects to talk about on the doorstep while I have to start tidying because I have a colleague using the incall in 30min and my body language is visibly anxious about it and confused about the lack of self awareness.
Yeah that's definitely part of my list. I'm not a clock watcher but sometimes I have something to do right after the booking or someone is showing up to the incall. It feels like it's done on purpose. I had a client recently who booked me for 45 minutes but he ended up staying over an hour. He also looked irritated when I told him he only had 15 minutes left. If you want to book longer book longer.. Initially I thought the term clock watcher literally meant someone who,s always looking to see if the time is up. Most of us don't have a lot of leeway between bookings or we have other things to do.
It takes me 1 minute at most.
I've had some surprises but generally 1-3 minutes.
I feel like that is an escort superpower!
I usually know even before they show up and my assumptions will be confirmed within a minute of us being face to face
Sometimes I can tell during the booking process. But honestly once someone walks through the door I already have a good idea as well.
However it's hard to anticipate how the connection might evolve over time. I'm a good judge of character but some people are very skilled at hiding their true selves.
Being an escort really helped me understand the human psyche in different ways
That was where I was headed with that question actually. I imagine SPs see people laid bare (literally) in a way that few other people do, and it sounds like people are predictable even then. Does that insight translate into other interactions outside of sex work?
If you had a rapport with a regular client, would you find it awkward or offensive for him to bring up his experiences with another SP?
(not in a way where hes gossiping or talking shit. Just wanting perspective)
(not in a way where hes gossiping or talking shit. Just wanting perspective)
It’s gauche. Don’t do it, it’s on the “gossiping” territory
Edit: you can talk about the experience without naming the other person but name dropping in a session is a red flag for most of us
It depends of the context.. but generally I think it's a red flag specially if he names people. Sometimes I can also tell that what I'm being told isn't exactly the truth too. It's happened that a client wanted insight on a past situation involving a provider he didn't name but generally it feels like some clients do this to spread gossip or pit us against each other. I've had really bad experiences involving clients doing this...
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That is actually really funny because escorts gossip about each other way more than any client does about them.
It takes about 5 minutes of reading on X lol.
The competitiveness and the pettiness is sometimes unbelievable.
yes it's true, some escorts do gossip about each other, that's why you shouldn't be fueling it. that's the whole point. don't encourage it. when clients talk to me about other escorts i usually change the subject or tell them i don't want to hear it. you shouldn't be helping someone try to take somebody else down. also a lot of this "gossip" that is spread by clients or providers is often false or information that has been distorted or blown out of proportion. one example is someone confusing a very similar sounding name with someone else's. the competitiveness that escorts entertain with each other is directly linked to client demands and the industry itself, not because "women are just petty"
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