Ask us anything part 3

[Oscar234567]

And yet, some seem to think I'm greedy because I believe I'm being paid for my time and won't hang out for free...

I hope you dont think im saying your greedy or anyone else... I just wanted to know if its possible, for a guy to be attractive enough or fun enough to make you want to date him and take him out of customer territory because each guy is different, and maybe one day a customer might make you not even feel like your with a client but i know its not possible for you its just something i wondered if its possible which i know its very rare

 

[Oscar234567]

I respect that feeling I think the argument from some the other side is that their time is valuable as well and it can be a win win situation especially if they are older wiser and can mentor
I don’t want to hang out with someone I don’t like for free. But it might be someone I might like in the future what not take a free meal, chat and explore it?

Thats why i brought it up its not an insult to the sp and im not trying to say i dont want the sp to make money i just wanted to test the waters to see if a guy who walks in can just make her let her guard down but i see both sides i mean this is your income its how you survive and life comfortable no matter how handsome and charming your not going to let a man come inbetween that and i get that but sometimes attraction just happens or like nachoy said he can be a mentor or someone you grow to like alot etc but i know free meetings as of now thats not happening so i wont bring it up again. I was just curious to know if a guy check all the boxes for amazing personality and really handsome/charming how far can it really go but i got the answer

 

[Oscar234567]

But you know.. I think maybe some clients assume that if we don't want to hang out with them for free, that means we don't like them... which is not the case. I just don't have the time for it, and it's just generally a matter of principle, just like some clients have told me ''it's a matter of principle'' for them not to pay for certain types of hang outs. In the last year I've almost never had the time to see my own friends because being a SP takes up so much of my time & energy.

I don't want to bring back the ''social time debate'' because it's excruciating and drains all of my energy, but I'll just resume a few observations.. some providers have confided in me that they felt obligated to hang out with their clients for free in order to keep them, which is different from hanging out with them because they genuinely want to. Also, a lot of stories I hear about SP who hung out with their clients for hours after a booking are just so wild that it doesn't sound like this person was in her normal state of mind, if you see what I mean.

Otherwise, I think it's possible that some SP go out of their way by offering services they normally don't, perhaps almost pretending they have romantic feelings for the client, giving freebies, going on free dates etc. I have no judgement about it and it's none of my business what they do, but personally I don't want to deal with blurred lines. I am generous with my time when I can.. To each their own.

As a client if you want to hang out with a SP more, just book her for longer periods of time.. I know it's expensive, but it shows you respect her time. Maybe one day you'll get a good surprise.

I agree. Thank you for being open, i know it takes up alot of time thats why when your not working just treat yourself to whatever you like whether its traveling, food, etc. We only live once after all

 

[Oscar234567]

[Clients]

Do you mind if the SP is on her period when you guys meet?

Not me personally but i think alot of guys will. Guys who want gfe will want to do daty so thats now a no go unless the man confesses to having a dracula fetish

 

[Nachoy]

Hey Bro
Can relate. It’s hard to break through the Escort mentality with a SP
They view their job as best means to support themselves. Set boundaries and when their shift is over their time is their own and don’t want spend it with a client
Sps keep work at work. Don’t have to be best friends with everyone after a shift
You’re young
It’s best to find someone who is willing to have sex with you because they like/love you rather then finding a sex partner that views sex as a commodity exchanged for monetary gain

 

[LC18]

Again another valid response yes just like any job theyre part of what pays your rent etc but lets say a guy is paying your rent, i know itll be different but men are entitled, he might want appointments here and there but then require you to give girlfriend level energy. Thats why i feel bad everytime i think of getting an sp, because guys act like they own the girl if she doesnt wanna kiss you or give you more services then its your choice but what do you do if a guy is asking oh you did these services for oscar234567 but you dont wanna do it for me and he gets mad or sees your head isnt in it based on your attraction level to him, how do you handle that situation?

I don’t run into that kind of situation so I don’t know. I’m very lucky in terms of clients and how they treat me

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I hope you dont think im saying your greedy or anyone else... I just wanted to know if its possible, for a guy to be attractive enough or fun enough to make you want to date him and take him out of customer territory because each guy is different, and maybe one day a customer might make you not even feel like your with a client but i know its not possible for you its just something i wondered if its possible which i know its very rare

I have to protect myself, this is also what that's about. A lot could go wrong if the relationship evolves in a way that goes beyond those boundaries. It doesn't have anything to do with ''the guy being attractive and fun enough'', but maybe one day this will change.

This isn't about ''viewing sex as a commodity'' or ''having an escort mentality''. This isn't a life style or a mentality for me. I don't see other human beings as people to get money from. If somebody wants to pay for my time, it's their choice, I didn't force them to do it. I still consider the connection I have with my clients to be real.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

I just wanted to know if its possible, for a guy to be attractive enough or fun enough to make you want to date him and take him out of customer territory

Yes, absolutely.

maybe one day a customer might make you not even feel like your with a client

This happens to me quite often actually. Since I offer longer dates, we become rapidly close and it creates a connection to the point that I often forget my name is « Giselle ».

 

[Giselle Montreal]

I was just curious to know if a guy check all the boxes for amazing personality and really handsome/charming how far can it really go but i got the answer

But it's impossible to know within one or two meetings. « taking him out of customer territory » would happen after spending a lot of time together. Personally yes, it's something I consider.

 

[Julia Sky]

I respect that feeling I think the argument from some the other side is that their time is valuable as well and it can be a win win situation especially if they are older wiser and can mentor
I don’t want to hang out with someone I don’t like for free. But it might be someone I might like in the future what not take a free meal, chat and explore it?

I cringed lol. Older, wiser and can mentor? Do you regularly mentor your friends? This is so infantilizing, why would I want to hang out on my free time with a guy who thinks he gets to teach me how to live my life because he's older? When I hang out with people it's generally to have a good time together, not to mentor anyone or position myself as some kind of authority over them lol.

Their time is valuable as well indeed and they probably have their own friends and family members to spend time with. Just because a professional service provider doesn't spend time with their customers outside of work doesn't mean they think the customer's time is worthless... Everyone's time is valuable but we don't use that as a justification to ask our bank tellers out to dinner, ask our lawyer out to a chalet weekend or the mechanic to a spa day.

And like. Even I have hung out with some clients off the clock but they are very few and far between and it was never something they expected or asked for out of the blue. It's also not something I would do with someone who has expressed a hint of romantic feelings towards me as I am not trying to blur any lines. I think the offer to hang out off the clock should never be expected and should always come from the service provider, with clear communication and set boundaries so there's no misunderstanding on either end. Some providers will never do that and that's perfectly okay, just like most service providers in most industries don't hang out with customers on the weekend lol.

 

[Fradi]

. Everyone's time is valuable but we don't use that as a justification to ask our bank tellers out to dinner, ask our lawyer out to a chalet weekend or the mechanic to a spa day.

That is because I doubt most bank tellers, lawyers and mechanics are capable of delivering a BBBJ as good as an SP and most don’t have an ass to die for.
There are reasons we prefer SP you know

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I cringed lol. Older, wiser and can mentor? Do you regularly mentor your friends? This is so infantilizing, why would I want to hang out on my free time with a guy who thinks he gets to teach me how to live my life because he's older? When I hang out with people it's generally to have a good time together, not to mentor anyone or position myself as some kind of authority over them lol.

Their time is valuable as well indeed and they probably have their own friends and family members to spend time with. Just because a professional service provider doesn't spend time with their customers outside of work doesn't mean they think the customer's time is worthless... Everyone's time is valuable but we don't use that as a justification to ask our bank tellers out to dinner, ask our lawyer out to a chalet weekend or the mechanic to a spa day.

And like. Even I have hung out with some clients off the clock but they are very few and far between and it was never something they expected or asked for out of the blue. It's also not something I would do with someone who has expressed a hint of romantic feelings towards me as I am not trying to blur any lines. I think the offer to hang out off the clock should never be expected and should always come from the service provider, with clear communication and set boundaries so there's no misunderstanding on either end. Some providers will never do that and that's perfectly okay, just like most service providers in most industries don't hang out with customers on the weekend lol.

I don't understand why "clients time is valuable" is even an argument here. A lot of clients would also not want to hang out off the clock because they have other things to do.

I've hung out with clients outside of bookings too. I've even become friends with clients before. I just don't feel comfortable getting very close to someone who could disclose details about my personal life and identity on this forum.

It's touchy to say "if you spend enough time with me, we will get close" too. Sure we will build a relationship together, and probably a cool one too, but that doesn't mean it will go somewhere else. It actually takes time and vulnerability to truly get to know someone.

If I started hanging out with a client outside of bookings and he was still paying me, what if he told others and they had resentful feelings about it?

 

[PatHibulaire]

Asking for free social time seems to be a recurring theme on MERB. I understand why some SP's are getting impatient always repeating the same thing. I asked that question myself on this thread a while back and finally understood that time is time and social time should be paid for just like intimate time is paid for. I don't know if I should be mad or amused that somebody considers that a client might become a mentor to a SP!!! As for a SP to fall in love with a client, I guess this is not impossible but very unlikely and certainly not because the client gave her the best sex of her life.

 

[Julia Sky]

That is because I doubt most bank tellers, lawyers and mechanics are capable of delivering a BBBJ as good as an SP and most don’t have an ass to die for.
There are reasons we prefer SP you know

But blowjobs almost never happen before people hang out together in real life either!

A good example : barmaids don't suck customers dick but get asked to hang out quite often.

I certainly wouldn't want to hang out with anyone who thinks my only worth is my oral skills and my ass hahaha. That defeats the entire point and we're back to square one where the client can pay me to enjoy those assets

 

[Fradi]

But blowjobs almost never happen before people hang out together in real life either!

A good example : barmaids don't suck customers dick but get asked to hang out quite often.

I certainly wouldn't want to hang out with anyone who thinks my only worth is my oral skills and my ass hahaha. That defeats the entire point and we're back to square one where the client can pay me to enjoy those assets

It was just a joke Julia,
Obviously one that didn’t come across as it was meant to.
You are an amazing young lady and a kind and extremely nice person.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I've been receiving requests from clients I've never even met who were asking me for free social dates under the guise of ''doing me a favor'', whether it's driving me somewhere, showing me around in a different city or taking me out to a nice restaurant ... Why would I hang out with someone I've never met?

 

[Oscar234567]

I've been receiving requests from clients I've never even met who were asking me for free social dates under the guise of ''doing me a favor'', whether it's driving me somewhere, showing me around in a different city or taking me out to a nice restaurant ... Why would I hang out with someone I've never met?

Wow that's so disrespectful and to say theye doing you a favor too is just wow... Some people are weird. Just block them

 

[Rebaynia]

I wanted to be one at one point because i like satisfying women but i made an ad and only men replied... Then i got married and she want to leave because canada is too cold but now im alone again and my confidence is down as well.

I wouldn't take women not contacting as a shot to your confidence. I don't know about other women, but since sex is often male pleasure centered, a toy is cheaper. Other women friends can fill the companion and emotional comfort needs that arise. The demand by women isn't as high as the demand of men looking for sexual gratification.

I always think about stop going to strip clubs and stopping the hobby but its how i cope. My question to you is do you genuinely like your clients

Breaking this question in 2. Yes I genuinely like my clients, I am picky about who I see because I need to be able to connect with who I am intimate with and if he can't express that in messages, unfortunately I won't be seeing him.

and they can take you out for fun like to laronde or something that doesnt have sex attached to it without being monetized because the client just wants to have fun and hes a regular who wants you to be open to the possibility of just having a good moment with you.

My personal time is dedicated to my kids and my life partner. It's not that I dont appreciate the time with those I see, but I am out of my comfort zone when I am outside of my home, so only reason to leave home is to earn to support my family. My business is it is my time paid for, not the act specifically, so social time is still paid time, otherwise I would be an introverted hermit staying home.

Its basically like saying i pay your rent, your car, your lifestyle, do i ever get a chance to spend actual you wanna spend time with me time or is that just the arrangement and theres nothing any guy can do about it.

You don't pay for these things, I have a job as well as this. All these things I had before doing this, this offers me the ability not to lose what I already have. And you don't pay for it, I earn my money to pay for my life myself. What I ask for barely even covers the cost of what it costs me to even be available to you.

I know answers may vary, i just want to see if going to these places like massage parlours and seeing these women if off the back im labeled as a loser etc...

I don't know about others, but I tend to refer to those I see as sweeties, not losers. I am often happy to see when one of my people contact me to see them. I take it as a compliment when they call me back again, and will only return to see those I like. I'm too emotionally irregular to be able to revisit someone I didn't like.

thats why i havent done it in a long time only strip clubs because when a stripper likes me shell just stay at my table and hang out whether the club is alive or empty just buy her one or 2 dribks to be nice. Im sorry if this was long just want to know how im seen in the eyes of an sp or mp.

I believe a dancer needs more support in their night than having a drink or 2 baught for them. They aren't paid just for being there, only money they make is what you give them. If they spend the hour with you, that's an hour they don't make any money while actively at work. It's to their deficit to stay and talk, and not be invited to a private dance.

 

[Rebaynia]

I know people have probably asked you this before but i was just wondering and always wanted to ask, that your first time doing this and your decision to fully commit to doing this i know you have rent to pay and bills but what made you look past the risks and not be scared.

I burnt out from work and still had children to support. Rent to pay, a car to finish paying for along with other responsibilities. It was this for survival or attempt to give up entirely lose everything I worked hard for, and find my kids and myself on the street unable to deal with a 9-5 any more at that stage of life.

It mustve been hard mentally.

No. I did it back when I was younger, and back in my single days, I used men for sex, and they knowingly accepted their place, issued days of the week that they were allowed to show up, because on another day they knew someone else would be there. I would call it playing guys, but even then no, because I didn't hide it from them, they all knew about eachother, even if they didn't know eachother.

And when you do get use to being an escort dont you look at men differently and doesnt it kindve changed the way you see relationships...

It doesn't change how I view relationships, it changed how I evaluate a relationship that would be right for me. I got into this with my partners blessing, but he also hears about it any time my faith or belief in relationships is challenged, and takes on being the representative of a good man to prevent me getting discouraged.

You make like 300 to 400/hr

I don't make that much.

so your fully dependent you can technically say i dont need men, my time with them is very valuable im the prize atleast thats what i think.

I don't think of myself as a prize. Master does, and reminds me I am a treasure thanks to my vibe. I am not with him for financial dependence, he supports my emotional regulation, and my time with him fills me with love and happiness that I then get to choose who I share that benifit with. The wrong interactions with a client, and I can't find it in me to see another person all week, the right sweeties, can help carry that good feeling along to make the world not something I can't stand be a part of.

I refer to them as my little boyfriends who help to support me and my children in the time we have together. Who are aware that my Master is my primary relationship, and are grateful he enjoys sharing. (I need more attention and affection than he has to provide anyways. LoL. It takes some of the pressure off of him.)

 

[Vardhan945]

Do yall think 18/19 is too young for a girl to start doing this ?

A few very popular SPs (some on merb) started at that age and seem to like it. But ive heard others say its too young.

Personally as someone in his early 30s id feel uncomfortable booking anyone under 20/21.

Also, how on Earth is a young, fresh-faced 18/19 year old advertising on Leo list not scared shitless at the prospect of meeting strange unknown men? it baffles me because its so ballsy...when I was in college I fixed broken phones and sold them on Craigslist and got robbed at gunpoint my 3rd time