Random thoughts (*rises from the dead*)
- Thread starter ChloeCoeur
- Start date
Apart from the fact that it seems he is lying to you, I personally find it unsettling to just trash a condom without wrapping it a minimum ... Or maybe it's me lol
Can't be me. I mean, it is me, but not saying your the only one and not leaving the condoms visible in the trash at the very least.
The Grocery Cart Test is an incredibly simple yet powerful test of someone's character. The vast majority of people return the cart to its designated area. No rewards, no law, no punishment for not doing so. Yet, a minority of people leave it in random spots in the parking lot, or worse, in front of the doors of the store. What does that tell us about these people's character? Do you think they would make good friends?... To ponder with your weekend coffee.
Sometimes I ask myself questions when people talk about ''acting civilized'' because really often, and I am not talking about you specifically but it's something I have noticed, these people will be extremely rude and inconsiderate in other circumstances but will still act like ''politeness'' defines somebody's character. This is a reference to middle class family members for instance who are abusive behind closed doors but were very ''polite'' elsewhere and hyper focused on things like table manners.
In this case, are you worried about the underpaid employees who will have to pick up these carts, or are you annoyed that you have to drive or walk around them?
It's kinda like people here saying they want to step on someone's feet or shove them because they acted annoying in the metro.. I get it that it's annoying, but it's not worth resorting to violence.
Is it really a concern for everyone's well being or are you bothered by a minor inconvenience?
I am very anxious when I walk outside, and sometimes look at my phone when I'm walking, I have had people tell me to kill myself, threaten to kill me or beat me up, shove me, etc. I remember once I was 24 or 25 years old, looked much younger than my age. I had my feet on an empty seat in the metro.. The wagon was empty. A 55-60 year old man rushed in and started yelling at me, saying that I have no matters, that I am a disgusting piece of shit spoiled brat and that he wanted to sit and that I had to get up and leave because I bothered him. I ran out and started crying and had a panic attack.
I think for me, what really tests someone's character is situations in which their level of compassion towards people like women, sex workers, immigrants, people of color, lgbt people, homeless people etc is being revealed.
These are interesting angles, but that's not what I had in mind at all. What I had in mind, after noticing someone leave the grocery cart in front of the door, is how interesting it is to observe human behaviour in our everyday life and then make correlations using psychological knowledge.(BTW I did not invent this test. It circulates online)
I'll cut to the chase and give you the conclusion. If someone had a pattern of leaving the grocery cart in random spots, this correlates with antisocial personality traits (i.e. you wouldn't want to be friends with them). Even those small things, like parking in a no parking zone repeatedly, have been shown to be such indicators (emphasis on repeated behaviour here). I'll stretch the conclusion to make it relevant to this board: I would venture that your time wasters and bad clients return the grocery cart less often than the average person.
Having your feet up on an empty seat in the metro, yeah not much manners but nothing to get riled up about or make a scene over. I just ignore these rude self absorbed people.
What gets to me is when on a bus or metro a pregnant woman gets on or an elderly person with a cane and there are many young people sitting and staring at them and not moving.
I am 3 times their age and I still get up and let them sit down.
I wonder what kind of parents these people had.
What gets to me is when on a bus or metro a pregnant woman gets on or an elderly person with a cane and there are many young people sitting and staring at them and not moving.
I am 3 times their age and I still get up and let them sit down.
I wonder what kind of parents these people had.
I do leave my cart in a random spot. Close to the door and will sometimes point to the next guy comming in, as I pick up my bags, non-verbally asking him/her if they need it. Does it make me anti-social? I think it is quite the opposite.
We are lost on a perception point of view. We don't really understand others, so we only focus on emotions and we judge what we don't understand. And that leads to a lot more selfish, anti-social behaviours and violent thoughts then a runaway cart. We are constantly judging books by their covers and assume this or that about a tests we've seen online. I'm not saying it's a bad test, i'm questioning wether it is a valid one or not.
There is 2 sides to a coin and some people will choose to see one, some will see the other.
Timming in life is everything. One day the guy comming in will be in a good mood and happy to save a few steps when I offer. Other day, Not so much and might think: << I can get my own freaking cart!>>
Good, bad. Might be raised on a tablet all your life. Or maybe, they're both busy working 50hrs a week so they can barely afford the mortage and food they put on the table. Meanwhile, you get raised by the local after school day-care. Or maybe one's just being a lil punk that day, without any bad intentions behind it.
It's feet on a seat. It's not shoving someone around so that their precious addidas can have their own bench.
We tend to make massive avalanche out of lil snow fall. That being said, Do I want to sit on a dusty, muddy seat with my Beige pants. No.
At some point, you get old enough that it can't be daddy and mommy's fault anymore.
P.S. (Self thought as I'm trying to correct myself after writting for 40min...) I need to get my shit together and stop writting book chapters when I repply to posts stuff. I get carried away with what may or may not be important details. My bad, I'm a work in progress... I blame R.R. Tolken for that...
Actually your interpretation of a parent while it might be correct is the problem.
To me when you decide to be a parent you accept a responsibility for life, if you are not willing to make that commitment then don’t have children.
You role is to support and raise your child to the best of your ability and give them every opportunity for a better life that you can possibly do.
That doesn’t stop when they are 18 or 40 it stops when you die.
It's really hard to tell. It is anti social behaviour yes but I think in order to evaluate if somebody is truly anti social or narcissistic (which are buzzwords that armchairs "psychology experts" use too often) you have to witness a pattern of someone behaving in a cruel and callous way within a wide range of different situations.
For instance, petty theft is considered anti social, but people who are very poor often resort to stealing because they can't afford anything. That doesn't mean they are bad people and would steal from one of their friends. But the thing is... I've known people who would steal from people just for fun.. that's much worse.
I find that really often people's character reveals itself when they talk about other people and in the way they treat others. Something that causes me to raise an eyebrow are people who act like "Karen's".. mistreating employees, not tipping, being rude to someone who's just trying to do their job, returning dishes at a restaurant etc complaining about little things..
Somebody could be very tired and often leave shopping carts in the wrong places.. I don't tend to think about very very minor inconveniences like that. I know about this test there are several like this one and it's all kinds pop psychology
See this is what I'm talking about and it's not just young people who do this lol I see people of all ages having this behavior.
There's a pattern of people not considering those around them that are in need of help. Like someone who looks unwell of a pregnant woman or a disabled or elderly person..
Or people ignoring a homeless person that is clearly in distress.. not treating homeless people like human beings. Not intervening of there's a hate crime, bullying or sexual assault happening in their faces or even joining in
I agree in theory. I wont go into details, I do not have kids.
At some point, we have to watch them and let them learn on their own. Can you be the anchor? Absolutly!
The guide line, the book they come back and read, when they doubt. Yes.
Is your job as a parent, to be there when they fall off their bikes and scrape their knees?
At 5 Yes
At 40...
-Timmy, we've been over this before. You need a lil momentum to keep your balance...
Daddy's gonna give you the best push he's got, then you gotta peddal on your own ok?
I personally agree with what @Fradi is saying. I hear a lot about teenagers becoming more and more violent with girls and more homophobic etc. Who teaches them these values? It's their parents. Either that or it's society and their parents have to intervene.
I don’t think anybody who doesn’t have kids can fully understand what being a parent is all about.
Timmy is your child for life and you will be aiding his peddling for life. Your best push is just a starting point.
Nobody should be peddling on their own ever that is what family is all about.
Remember also how you treat your children will also determine what kind of home they put you in eventually, if you are unlucky enough to live that long.
No human being belongs in one of these CHLD homes.
Yes, the basic values in life will and or should come from your parents.
Yes some, sadly are ill equipped to provide for you at a young age, and this is where I agree with what @Fradi said.
Yes being vulnerable, influencable can lead you to some very dark path in life.
It is your job at some point to know what is right and what is wrong. You can't sit on the curb acting like an ass-hole with the excuse about daddy and mommy all your life, No!
Daddy and mommy have flaws, just like you and I have. Just like society has.
Every single therapy you can attend in life to fix/better whatever you feel like you need fixing will give you tools, tips and trick, so that you can walk, pedal, drive...
(Insert preffered method of transportation here.)
On your own.
I don't think "excuse about mommy and daddy" is what we are talking about. Parents have a responsibility to take care of their children, treat them with respect and teach them empathy, compassion and kindness. We're not talking about someone who's an adult using their parents as an excuse to be an asshole.
I will asume that you read my lines in diagonal and isn't just about finding the 3 words you disagree with and focus on that...
I try to keep an open mind about others point of view and also focus on the positive I can relate about opinions while debating mine.
That eldery man that screamed at you. Was he badly raised?
Or was just fed up from another story that may have happened in his life?
No one can tell.
You had a reaction to it, that was unfortunate to say the least. And you had to deal with his shit being dumped on you and deal with it.
If you had support from your family to help you deal with it; it is not my place to know.
I hope you did.
But sadly some don't. So they have to deal with it, alone, on their own...
I read your whole comment. You also didn't seem to read mine. We are talking about children here not adults. Once you get to a certain age you are responsible for your own actions and way of thinking of course but as a child you are heavily influenced by your parents