Agreed. Besides, it's way more freeing and fun to just let the session play out organically. If you cum, great, if she cums, even better, or maybe you just spend time however feels the most natural.
Ask us anything part 3
- Thread starter LC18
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Really in the same boat as you guys. When I first started to see SPs I was also consuming porn on a very regular basis, almost daily. I was experimenting the same issues on difficulty to sustain erections and difficulty to climax. Since then i have almost completely stopped porn. I meet SPs to fulfill a need for intimacy and have stopped seeing that having sex/makimg love always has to end with climax. I have learned and appreciate the act by it self, a shared moment with a spécial lady with no judgement. And if I climax then it is perfect. And with that state of mind and having stopped porn, I must admit that I climax moré often…. Just to say I usually book 3 hour sessions, I climax once. The rest is filled with conversation, touching, having a drink, eating, and having sex and having fun.
It takes time but it’s definitely not impossible. I have tried a few times with people that were self described “porn addicts”
It goes to show how destructive excessive porn use is, in that it is able to neutralize one of our most basic human instincts: enjoying intimacy with another person.
That’s why porn has been or will be banned in a few countries. However, I can’t judge anyone. I used to watch a lot of porn and even download videos to make sure I would still have some in case my wifi went out
Luna IMHO you are 100% correct. I am often guilty of using the phrase "natural beauty", and that is exactly what I mean. No gaudy makeup, no boobs that look like they came off a holstein cow, no J Lo butts. I doesn't mean you don't stay fit, even maybe do somethings that a man would never notice unless you told him. Most women have natural beauty but maybe feel like they need something more. Just my view of course.
Possibly yes, the negative effects are less visible
I think porn affects women too but in different ways.. like there is pornography and there is the mainstream porn industry. I don't think pornography in itself is bad but I definitely feel critical about the mainstream porn industry.. watching certain kinds of porn at a very young age definitely distorted my view of sexuality and other things.. but I realized pretty fast that it didn't align with how I want to express myself in intimate situations and how I want to present myself physically.
It's possible. You would never be able to tell just from looking at someone.
Some people just like different things.
Personally I didn't even really share my porn options with most of my ex's. They liked what I called tame porn. Cam girls playing solo, or simple 1 couple vanilla encounters.
I had 1 tell me my desires and what I liked to watch was too extreme or too much for him, so I hid the idea of what I liked, and didn't enjoy sex with him. Now I am in a relationship, who likes the idea of making my taboo porn fantasies into realities. How long do most SPs - specifically highly sought after Indys - work for ?
Is it decades? or just when theyre young and super hot to set themselves up for retirement ?
Is it decades? or just when theyre young and super hot to set themselves up for retirement ?
This question feels like it could be better answered by an industry-wide polling / statistic situation (would be cool to have that). But my personal experience in Montreal has been meeting a lot of indys who have been in it for a long time in one form or another. Also youth may be hot to some clients, but just as many clients I'm sure are into older providers.
Personally, I plan on doing it for as long as I enjoy it or until some other reason stops me.
Honestly I know people who have been escorts for 10 years or even 15-20.. but a lot of them changed the way they work over time, or they work on and off. Some of them worked for agencies or parlors at first and they got tired of it. Some others just decided to raise their rates significantly to have a much lower volume of clients.
I also know a lot of people who were escorts for a short period of time and moved on to other types of sex work they liked better and found less upsetting (like stripping or bdsm or porn).. or they left the industry entirely because it was too hard for them.
That's why so many people take breaks or change their rate structure over time. This is my 4th year and I really don't see myself being a full time escort for 4 more. This lifestyle isn't sustainable for most people..
Interesting. is it the prospect of running into psycho and dangerous clients that make it unsustainable? or just the social stigma ?
It's a bunch of different factors. When you're a reputable SP you're a lot less likely to have "psycho and dangerous clients" because you're not as vulnerable. If someone has bad reviews and her rates are low she's going to attract the worst types.. or if she just entered the industry. There's also "psycho client" and then there's a lot more clients who aren't technically dangerous but are really unpleasant to deal with for a lot of reasons and these are the ones who are most likely to cause problems for your business and leave bad reviews or shit talk about you or just drain you. It's not a prospect.. it's a reality. If a SP tells you she hasn't had a bad experience with a client she is lying either to you or to herself.
Seeing a high volume of clients is exhausting psychologically and physically, also not the safest thing over time. Being hyper visible as an individual and being constantly scrutinized is tough. There is a high pressure to be perfect all the time. Also yes the social stigma is hard to deal with. This is a very isolating jobs and SP are constantly being pitted against each other and prevented from being friends so it's easy to feel really alone and like your friendships in the industry aren't real.. The drama between providers is really exhausting.. SP judge each other and talk behind each other's backs all the time. Jealousy can be really intense to deal with as well... There are differences between us that are hard to ignore and it can lead to frustration, envy and other negative feelings
There's also a certain lifestyle that a lot of SP conduct that can end up being unhealthy.. like substances for some.. I think for indies it can be really hard to have a break from working too. I know for myself it was very hard to build a good reputation and I have to invest in my brand and advertise and hustle and reevaluate my way of working constantly.
Overall I think being a SP is a legit job and you can be happy being an escort for many many years, but doing it full time at a medium to high volume without ever taking breaks is not sustainable. That's the nuance I want to make.
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Oh lord, this question again
Three possibilities:
• racism/stereotypes
• someone from a community that doesn’t want to run into someone they know
• discrimination because they can
Because they're racist, unless they don't want to accidentally see a client from the same community. There are countless threads about this and multiple people will give you other explanations that are vague and suspicious.
One I often hear is "I or this SP I like have noticed a pattern of behavior related to clients of a certain cultural background"
as a half indian half iranian guy...I can understand why. There are certain tendencies in our community that can make interactions with Westerners...awkward to say the least. It is what it is.
I find it sad that you would talk about your people this way….
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