Do you tell anyone about your hobby ?

[Nachoy]

I think it's nuanced. We aren't relationship substitutes precisely because we create an experience for the client and yes that involves different types of intimacy and companionship.. we do offer things you can get in a relationship but ultimately if a client starts seeing escorts because he wants to turn one of us into his real girlfriend he's going to be disappointed.

I see what I offer as an escort as something "in between".. I care about my clients and I want to offer a good experience, but I'm not their girlfriend. To me what I offer as an escort is a bridge to a real relationship with someone else really often. It's also yes entertainment. Really often clients book me because they want to be around an interesting and intelligent girl who they can also have sex with and do things you'd normally do on a date with.

I also disagree. A lot of client who hire escorts purely for sex tell themselves and each other stories too..

Interesting, I tried hard to turn a SP I really liked into a my GF but it didn’t happen. Why is that ?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Interesting, I tried hard to turn a SP I really liked into a my GF but it didn’t happen. Why is that ?

We have free will and this is our job.. I can't really tell if you're being sarcastic or not here lol.

This topic comes up pretty often but here's my 2 cents. I have met SP who were open to meeting a man through this and I know a lot of SP who dated clients, I myself have dated one before. I just very rarely hear success stories for those types of relationships. While yes we can be ourselves with our clients and there is a vulnerability and connection that develops, we are still selling a fantasy and catering to the client. Clients also act differently than they normally would outside of this. I am still friends with this client I dated 3 years ago and I love him very much in a platonic way, but when I tried to become personal friends with some other clients, aside from one other person, things didn't go so well. Once reality hits, the dynamic changes.

I've also noticed that some clients who get attached to me romantically or start believing we're more than what we actually are outside of this begin to resent me over time because I'm not giving them what they want meanwhile some of them become either very very vulnerable & overly attached, or very generous with me while expecting something in return. That scares me a little, it feels like a lot of pressure. This doesn't happen that often, it's mostly with regulars, lines can get blurred and I like to give the client a reality check once in a while to make sure he doesn't regret his experiences with me.

The truth is that most of us do this job because we don't want to depend on someone else for income, and I think if there is a big difference between social status between 2 partners money can create a harmful power dynamic, particularly if the client wants the SP to quit her job. I also think if money was initially involved, it can create weird resentment.. For instance there is a client that I tried to become friends with, initially when I said I wanted to hang out with him as a friend he took me out to eat for a whole weekend and spent all this money on me without me asking for it. Eventually, the opposite happened, I was the one paying for stuff and he expressed resentment for me not being a perfect human being after he actually doted on me for only one or two days after we met. It kinda broke my heart. The same thing happened with my client I actually dated, too.. Now we are over it and our friendship is exceptional, but it hurt my feelings initially.

A lot of people on this forum get angry when I express that I don't want to give more than what is being paid for, but they don't realize that it's not because I'm stingy and view my clients as human wallets.. It's because I think it can create problems. If I allowed myself to develop romantic attachments to my clients and if I didn't set internal boundaries for how I consider them generally, this job would become too much for me to deal with emotionally.. that doesn't mean I dehumanize my clients and hate them.