How to deal with guilt and shame?

[nivirto2]

@cloudsurf

I wasn't attacked, I was threatened! Now I can see the irony there but let me tell you that the last session that I had, it could have been a great one if my mind was right. The girl did the best she could. I would recommend her to most of you. She's a nice girl that deserve positive review. It wasn't that bad but I take almost full responsability for the "failed" session. How I was feeling that night was personal to me and it doesn't mean that you will feel that way with the girl.
That pimp incident was excessive though! They didn't handle the situation well. I don't think that single incident means bad luck for me in the future. I did my part sharing it within the community.

@laid_..

Maybe it did a little bit unconsciously but I had enough time to recover. That situation made me a bit more wary for the future though. I did screen the last girl. There's something else more personal and psychological...

 

[Plastic Sturgeon]

I never had any guilt about it, I view it as an adventure.

 

[Chigen]

There is some initial shame, but I guess most people get over it. I know some guys that are so comfortable with it that they talk about it openly. I keep things to myself.

 

[Sonia.von.Sacher]

hehe exactly what i tough

Sonia Nivirto2 needs you!!!

cheers,

eep: Someone called my name?

 

[Flyingby]

There was a time that I just wanted to book a girl over and over again. I knew she does not love me, but my heart just melt whenever I saw her. When I tried to book or see other, I felt guilty. I felt shamed bc I should be stronger to get over the situation.

Man
I get you
I think we have all felt that way at some point.
Emotions are difficult to control and understand
I don’t know if your condition was love. Or just comfort...lust...filling something that is missing in your day to day life
Nothing to feel guilty about as long as you can control it.
The best advice I can give is to keep it in check. Control what you say and how you act. Always be 100% in check with your emotions

 

[jmioffe]

I feel no shame or guilt. The world runs on sex and money.

I understand it's a business transaction. Most things in life are. Your doctor, waitress, masseuse are there to make you feel good and care for you, but there is no love. They wouldn't do it for free. This is kind of the same way. In rare instances, you may hit it off and develop a relationship. But those are rare. And even rarer is the relationship that lasts for a long time. Even marriages break up.

I do agree with the idea of selling yourself short though. It is a real pitfall, I am struggling with it now and started another thread on midlife about it.

 

[jalimon]

That is my main problem with the hobby. I feel no guilt and no shame. Just happiness.

I saw a girl this morning. She said to me "You like me because I like and take full responsibility for what I do.". I smiled and answered "That makes the 2 of us my dear".

Cheers,

 

[hungry101]

Yes, but have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever felt empty?

Last year in Europe, I was at my fourth flesh pot in a row. I fucked so much my dick was broken...literally. I got in my rental and drove several hours to a site of historical significance. It was inspirational in a way. I have to say the experience changed my life for the better. One can only spend so much time in the flesh pots of Europe.

I have to say the parties were great. I flew into Montreal. I would see a few girls and then go out and have beers with the guys. The next day I might have breakfast with someone and see another girl. Then there was the pre-party and then another girl. The next day was the big party and more girls. There were times I went to Montreal and I was locked in a room waiting 2 hours for a girl to show up. She shows up and then I am off to eat alone and then back to the room and repeat....

 

[jmioffe]

I fucked so much my dick was broken...literally. ... I was locked in a room waiting 2 hours for a girl to show up. She shows up and then I am off to eat alone and then back to the room and repeat....

I've been there. I so lust for beautiful young girls that I want this half the time. I know it's not healthy for developing my future.

 

[jalimon]

I am a local so in regards to SP my challenge is to space out my encounters to once a week. This makes it much easier.

But to answer your question I feel lonely very often on my business trip. Even if it does never involves any hobbying.

 

[happyhobbist]

Zero shame here. I enjoy every encounter i have and I would talk openly about my hobby if I knew open people to talk to. Unfortunately, my social network is not ready for it.

As for the guilt, I wish I had none, but I can't completely get rid of it. I'm in a OK marriage, so there is a little voice in my head that is always nagging me when I hobby. Also, I am completely aware that I'm very privileged to have a successful career, a wife, a fulfilling family life AND a enriching hobby where I get to meet and make love to incredible women. When I see my friends struggling to have just 1 of those, i understand where that guilt comes from. I think it explains why I sometimes I have trouble maintaining my boner even though I'm with a loving and hot SP .

 

[protagoras]

enriching hobby where I get to meet and make love to incredible women. .

Is that really so? Believing or asserting that we are «making love» while we are engaged in sexual intercourse with an escort is a moot point. Is pouring Aunt Jemima's Maple Syrup over a pancake really the same thing as pouring maple syrup from a sugar shack over a waffle?

With all due respect, ''guilt'' and ''shame'' are probably associated with a so-called inner awareness of how beguilessness and delusion are key parts of hobbying. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant....

 

[jalimon]

But then again isn’t this all about fantasy, so maybe sometimes a little Aunt Jemimas can be mistaken for real maple syrup and enjoyed, as long as you can come back to reality in time for lunch and dinner.

I only think of aunt jemimas or tante berthe or dead squirrels when i am about to pop too early

 

[cloudsurf]

Good thing that I didn`t have coffee in my mouth when I read your post Jal.
Between your jokes and Amanda`s booty selfies....I`ve ruined several computers.