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Years ago I would go to massage parlours while tripping on various hallucinogens. Porn doesn't turn me on. But LSD does. One masseuse at Adagio realized I was tripping and called me out on it and seemed to enjoy the weird conversations. We got along sober too and it became a lovely thing...

It's a kind of Portrait of Dorian Gray scenario. Selling one's image is a very deeply destructive enterprise. I wonder how clients don't get sucked into the whirlpool of this void. I've taken a break from seeing full service workers for this very reason. I saw something that terrified me in...

You're right, preferences are spawned from without. I spent a few months before this pandemic rolling a die to make decisions about this stuff, and that made it all the more fun. I rolled it to see if I would see an independent, or someone from an agency, hair colour, height, boobs, ethnicity...

Search Dasha Ivanov

Yes, it is. If you try to do something to achieve an imagined goal then you're a slave to an imagined master. But the tricky thing is then that one ends up trying to play, as if it was just another technique. From my experience, a sure fire solution is observing myself...

If you want the pleasures of the great performances, then you'll have to accept the agonies of the bad ones. The greats don't perform, they just play

I dated and befriended a few SWers (no complaints, they were extremely generous with food and money) and was married to an SW for a few years. That's how I got to stay in this nice country. The marriage lasted for around 5 years and we're still good friends. It was an open relationship which...

It's pretty damned courageous for you to say all this. Not a lot of men would admit to this kind of thing to others. I find that more impressive than anything most porn stars have done on the job.

My latest obsession got me into reading Schopenhauer's "The World as Will and Representation". She's unique. And as she said, I've found it very helpful. I was a dog drooling on a leash. Now I'm a dog drooling on a leash and I know it, and I see the leash and everything. Makes a difference.

Singing the blues....

When the disappointment hits, it helps to go somewhere quiet, lie down, or sit comfortably, and go into the pain in your body. Often it's in the solar plexus or belly or chest. Stay with it until it dissipates. Feels really good often after. All the girls recommend it!

You might find this article interesting. It was written by a friend of mine. I'm unsure if I share her hope, but it is food for thought. https://return.life/2022/03/07/the-new-truth/

What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. Unless there's a kind of deliberate practice of self-doubt, it seems people generally look for evidence of already held beliefs. And these days there is no general truth, just your truth or my truth backed up by a consistent narrative.

I sense that there are people who don't know how to enjoy themselves at all and that seeing sps is intended as a simulation of trying to match watching porn stars enjoy themselves (assuming that porn stars are actually enjoying themselves). People do this in terms of music taste, what films...

I think there is something lovely about not knowing what will happen. The bad dates make the good ones even better. Why try to make sure everything will be perfect. That kills the spontaneity. The duds are part of the learning. That being said, I used to play the French Horn

Put on that body condom! https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/04/health/insect-rodent-filth-in-food-wellness/index.html https://www.popsci.com/poop-is-everywhere/

Every now and then, and yet perhaps more frequently (I can't tell), I forget that I had ever remembered anything. A clear emptiness. There's something peaceful about it. The fruits of hard labour

You must already know this, but, at least for xo, if you ask for photos, they will send you some and they are often nice candid shots. It adds to the adventure, "who is behind the green door??". Mystery is what life is all about. You don't even know what you'll be thinking in 10 minutes.

The best thing to do in your situation is to find someone with an empty comfortably temperature controlled room with no windows (that's important) and to have them lock you inside of this room for 3 days all alone with no stimulation at all, except 3 plastic jugs of water and a mattress (no...